"Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it." - Joseph Heller
"We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together, and if we are to live together we have to talk." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do not teach your children never to be angry; teach them how to be angry." - Lynn Abbot
When I worked with at-risk teens things could get volatile. These kids were not safe at home, and they were guarded at school. Everyone was flamboyant, loud, and cutting school. All of this was OK in their peer group of outcasts. But when one of the kids was talking about something real, and emotions came to the surface, the speaker ALWAYS apologized for it. They had all internalized the social 'norm' that showing emotion is wrong. Certainly it would only make them more vulnerable in their precarious and violent lives. But I started thinking that we ALL apologize for showing emotion. Well, I put my foot down! Usually I was very reticent about stating 'right' and 'wrong' as our group was learning more about that through our shared experience. But in this instance I made it clear that emotions are OK in our group. That for an hour a week they could show vulnerability and get to know themselves underneath all of their (necessary!) defenses. I modeled this by allowing myself to really care and get involved with the kids. Sure there were necessary boundaries, but they weren't like a big cement wall; they were mostly invisible to the kids. Together we grew. Together we realized that emotions are a gift, a warning system, a cleansing system, a signpost to the personal truth that we all seek. Comfort Spiral is about letting go of restriction. It is the furthest thing from putting on a happy front. Joy grows naturally in the right soil.
A L O H A !! Cloudia
1 hour ago