"Our own pulse beats in every stranger's throat." Barbara Deming
"We are, all of us , ordinary people. Liberation begins when we know that."
When I worked with adolescents they were, of course, obsessed with their appearance. That is their job after all: to display their feathers, to show their skills and their fitness in dancing. This is how young humans choose partners, at least it is until we learn to look beneath & beyond appearances.
"There will always be someone cuter than you, and there will always be somebody less attractive," I told them, "but when you meet someone who touches your heart, you see so much more than their 'looks.' They are beautiful to you because they are special to you. Looks only go so far - other qualities become much more important."
Also, I have learned that people don't even look at us they way we scrutinize ourselves in the mirror. While we focus on our hair, features, or perceived "blemishes" the world takes us all in at once. Mere appearance actually is secondary, I believe, to the behavioral cues and energetic emanations which we all carry around. Remember the conventionally pretty girl who couldn't get a date, or the "plain" Jane who was always popular? Clearly there is more at play than appearances.
Yes, I have learned that 90% of our appearance is determined by posture, our facial expression, and most importantly our attitudes. When we enter a room others see a movie start. And they hear our unmistakable overture begin to play. . .
A L O H A, Cloudia