Farewell, sweet man!
It's a huge privilege to be asked to conduct a wedding ceremony.
This is a day that they will remember all their lives;
But no pressure.
Everyone's nervous to get it PERFECT!
And if there's a professional photog it's a "shoot" first.
I have seen photogs run sweating couples up and down the hot beach "one more time" too many times.
But gotta get that perfect picture! (eh bloggers?)
The day belongs to the couple.
I try to be a calming, reassuring, down-to-earth influence, but completing the State's official paperwork always makes me sweat.
I have learned to ask some pertinent questions, because people ASSUME that a ceremony will contain elements that they are used to.
Are there rings? Do you have vows, or something else you want to say or recite?
If they are a same-gender couple, I tell them that as the day's representative of Church, I apologize to them for any misguided rudeness, or abuse they have suffered at the hands of "the church." That is not the Spirit that I know.
As a resident of this State, I apologize that their marriage will not be a legal entity - no matter how true, alive, or lovely it may be. But I assure them that this ceremony of their will & surrender WILL render them truly truly soul partners. Powers & Principalities honor them this day, even if the legislature hasn't caught up yet.
I welcome the humans, the Aina (land) Lani (Heavens) Kai (Sea) and all the spirit of Aloha that animates these isles.
After that, each ceremony is different.
Sometimes folks contact me later to tell me that they were happy with the ceremony - or even that they felt "something" that moved them. I am grateful that the "magic" happened. It comes through me - not from me.
Last night my favorite husband remarked how strange it is that two willing people who have obtained a marriage license are LEGALLY married simply because I declare it so.
"It takes time and lawyers and thousands of dollars to get a divorce." He said. I had to agree; it is mysterious, wonderful, and an awesome responsibility!
Mostly, what I bring is humility. I have learned to get out of my own way and "Mach Show" as the Germans say, to become the role I am playing.
A wedding ceremony is one of those times in life when we feel the winds of eternity ruffling our hair, raising goose bumps (or "chicken skin" as we say in Hawaii).
Yesterday, I shared a wonderful truth that I have learned with the bride:
"When he looks at your face in 20 or 30 years, what he will see is your beauty on this day."
I also share with couples a foundational truth of my own marriage: that it rests on a disagreement.
My husband thinks that it's All About Me.
I know that it's All About Him.
We agree to disagree on this.
And count ourselves blessed.
That's what I wish for yesterday's newlyweds.
(and for you!)
May we all enjoy the produce of our own gardens.
That's where the real nourishment comes from. . .
A L O H A! Cloudia