Sunday, March 25, 2012

My Secret - The REAL X-Factor

A   L   O   H   A  !

Song for Peace by Paul Horn on Grooveshark
Click for the 'POW"
" -when you are Black
White People often don't see
YOU-
they look right through you,
at the dark & scary face
that lurks in the open windows
of their vivid
imaginations. "

Leonard Pitts Jr.














" The more theatrical
the story you hear
and the more it divides
the world into
"Goodies" vs. "Baddies,"
the less reliable
that story
is going to be. "

Felix Salmon
 













" There are no hopeless situations;
There are only those
 who have grown
helpless
about them. "

Claire Boothe Luce














" It is one of the most beautiful compensations
of this life,
that no one can sincerely
try to help another
without helping
himself. "

Ralph Waldo Emerson




 >< } } ( ° >




For a few years
 I had the privilege
of facilitating an after-school group
for at risk kids.

If they could feel some belonging,
some caring,
and get some basic information
about protecting themselves
it would all be for the good.

I knew that the activities,
and the food I brought,
didn't matter as much
as being there 
every time,
on time.

In time
the kids blossomed.

When they were home sick,
or skipping class,
they would sneak INTO school
to attend!

In time
they started to talk
about real stuff.
We got beyond
 High School posturing.

Eventually,
 my boss wanted me to write
a 'curriculum'
so we could share
what was evidently
working.

I knew that I could write
everything we did,
but what we did
was not the essence of it.

The secret began
when each kid 
entered the room.

I smiled at them
sincerely
[a big smile]
to show them
that seeing them
made me HAPPY.

They saw that they
mattered;
and in at least one place
they were always celebrated.

It couldn't be artificial.
That smile,
and the heart behind it
had to be
sincere.

How could I write
that?


One time
I met with a school principal (a PhD)
and a psychologist
to conference on one of my kids.

After we talked for a while,
the kid was sent in.

Realizing in that moment
that 3 adults
were sitting in a row
 waiting,

I jumped up 
to take her hand
and pulled up a chair
to sit beside her
FACING the authorities
together.


Together
we accomplished
what had to be done.


Later the Principal told me:
"You are the consummate youth worker!"


Sometimes
on a bad day
when I wonder where all my
promise
went,
I think back on the kids.

No one got AIDS,
though several were subsistence
sex workers.

They ALL Graduated High School.

 
Several went on to college!

One of the 'kids'
is now an on-line editor
for People Magazine!


The real X-Factor
is treating people
( sincerely
and simply )
as if you are
 HAPPY
to see them!


And here's the strange
and wonderful part:

In time
you WILL be happy
to see every person.

They will feel it.
And so will you.

 

Your life will change.


And You will be
[even more of]
an influence
for
GOOD!

What do YOU think?
Join us in comments


                              Warmly, cloudia

21 comments:

  1. Every person I SEE I am happy to know them and sit and chat with them. It's the people I don't take notice of that makes me know I am the one missing out.

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  2. inspiring words for a sunny sunday..... I wish now I'd had the confidence to share more with more when I was younger but I also know it's never too late.....

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  3. celebrate life!!

    namaste /\ from mumbai
    aloha!!

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  4. Oh, I just wish I had the fortitude, endurance, daring, and frankly the talent to possibly offer something so worthwhile as you have described in this post. I too have some anxieties and empathy for the youth at risk, and in general I have both sympathy and empathy for people who work in truly risky situations...I just have never considered myself good enough, competent enough to participate actively in supporting these people categories, who, I sincerely believ deserve only the very best, the very best of teachers & mentors & guidance counselors & volunteers, with the very best of expertise...I am almost always ethically in doubt and torn about whether I am good enough to engage myself in such a job, (even if only at a volunteer supportive level), or whether I might be "drawn" to such an enterprise for the "wrong reasons", primarily to assuage my own existential fears and anxieties about trauma, loneliness, fear of dying alone...although most of us actually may in fact die alone, according to Mr Tennesse Williams, who once wrote, "We are all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life." I just don't know...

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  5. You have indeed found "the secret," I think. Way to go, Cloudi!

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  6. I wonder at times how many people I miss by going through life with my head too often down.

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  7. And this is why I come back here again and again. You have a beautiful soul Cloudia, and I always listen to these wise words.

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  8. I think you are a beautiful person.
    I bitterly regret moving to care for my parents. I could have taken a leave and gone back to teaching refreshed. Instead I burned out.
    I know I made a difference. I must hold to that, dear sister. You are an inspiration and I love visiting.

    Do You Have Fave Body of Water?

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  9. Curriculum vitae= Smile, Hug and High Five!

    You "gots" what it takes Sis!

    Let the light shine my friend!

    Hugs,

    John

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  10. The kids were so lucky to have you. Perhaps I should have done something similar - my kids friends were always telling me things they wouldn't dare tell their parents. Or even, sometimes, their friends. I have no idea why they trusted me so much.

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  11. Great post, this made my day. You down to the real person hiding behind what our culture makes us do to each other.

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  12. Wish you a good life, dear Cloudia!
    Ciao dall'Italia. Bacio.
    Erika

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  13. Well, this is a lovely post Cloudia and it has made me think. It is so true. I don't think you need to worry about where your promise went, I suspect you can't see the way you really are now, because only a really nice person would write this.

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  14. Friendship is numbered in the faces you meet.

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  15. You have shared your spirit to help those kids at an important time in their lives. Your spirit is wandering the world within the souls of those kids you helped. Congrats for keeping some of the world sane, one kid at a time. DrumMajor

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  16. I think, that your entry moves to tears and one can only be grateful to have read and felt.

    Please have you all a good new week ahead.

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  17. Nice story and thoughts. Good to hear the positive.

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  18. most of my kids are black. I don't see their color, only my kids.

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  19. you have touched and moved me.

    I thank each of you sincerely

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  20. I think you're right Cloudia, with children more than anyone you have to be genuine, they can small a fake a mile away! Your class were so very lucky to have you.

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  21. OH definitely, Cloudia! You are such a wonder. What a beautiful guide and friend you were to those children. You must find great contentment in knowing you have made such a huge difference.

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