Farewell, sweet man!
It's a huge privilege to be asked to conduct a wedding ceremony.
This is a day that they will remember all their lives;
But no pressure.
Everyone's nervous to get it PERFECT!
And if there's a professional photog it's a "shoot" first.
I have seen photogs run sweating couples up and down the hot beach "one more time" too many times.
But gotta get that perfect picture! (eh bloggers?)
The day belongs to the couple.
I try to be a calming, reassuring, down-to-earth influence, but completing the State's official paperwork always makes me sweat.
I have learned to ask some pertinent questions, because people ASSUME that a ceremony will contain elements that they are used to.
Are there rings? Do you have vows, or something else you want to say or recite?
If they are a same-gender couple, I tell them that as the day's representative of Church, I apologize to them for any misguided rudeness, or abuse they have suffered at the hands of "the church." That is not the Spirit that I know.
As a resident of this State, I apologize that their marriage will not be a legal entity - no matter how true, alive, or lovely it may be. But I assure them that this ceremony of their will & surrender WILL render them truly truly soul partners. Powers & Principalities honor them this day, even if the legislature hasn't caught up yet.
I welcome the humans, the Aina (land) Lani (Heavens) Kai (Sea) and all the spirit of Aloha that animates these isles.
After that, each ceremony is different.
Sometimes folks contact me later to tell me that they were happy with the ceremony - or even that they felt "something" that moved them. I am grateful that the "magic" happened. It comes through me - not from me.
Last night my favorite husband remarked how strange it is that two willing people who have obtained a marriage license are LEGALLY married simply because I declare it so.
"It takes time and lawyers and thousands of dollars to get a divorce." He said. I had to agree; it is mysterious, wonderful, and an awesome responsibility!
Mostly, what I bring is humility. I have learned to get out of my own way and "Mach Show" as the Germans say, to become the role I am playing.
A wedding ceremony is one of those times in life when we feel the winds of eternity ruffling our hair, raising goose bumps (or "chicken skin" as we say in Hawaii).
Yesterday, I shared a wonderful truth that I have learned with the bride:
"When he looks at your face in 20 or 30 years, what he will see is your beauty on this day."
I also share with couples a foundational truth of my own marriage: that it rests on a disagreement.
My husband thinks that it's All About Me.
I know that it's All About Him.
We agree to disagree on this.
And count ourselves blessed.
That's what I wish for yesterday's newlyweds.
(and for you!)
May we all enjoy the produce of our own gardens.
That's where the real nourishment comes from. . .
A L O H A! Cloudia
It is where the sky marries the earth that the vows of a couple are sealed. There is no end to the seeking of the place where they are opened and no thrill like leaving them sealed for long, long periods of time.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine that being married by you would be a truly soulful, moving and memorable experience of a lifetime, Cloudia.
ReplyDeletethat post raised a chicken skin on me.
ReplyDeleteI am not altogether sure that the sentiments felt at the ceremony remain for ever. But I hope that the ones you invoke remain in a spiritual form in sky and earth, for ever, never- ending
I adore weddings. I always cry. There is a church I pass on my way home from work, and sometimes, on a summer Saturday, there will be couple posing with their friends and family on the steps of the church, and everyone is happy and dressed up and it always makes me feel joyful, too.
ReplyDeleteThat was neat that you included EVERYONE in your lovely post. Hoorah!
weddings are special in its own way..
ReplyDeleteI like your "disagreement" THat's how Lana and I work as well.
ReplyDeleteThis was really touching. I love the secret to your marriage.
ReplyDeleteIts the same 'disagreement' that has worked for us for 31 yrs and hopefully many more ...
ReplyDeleteAloha my dear sistah! xo
All you need is love, Cloudia- well that's my view and I am sticking to it.
ReplyDeletePS Loved that french bulldog.
Nothing mundane about your marriage, CC!
ReplyDeleteI love you folks; what rich comments today!
ReplyDeleteI gotta use that: "It is where the sky marries the earth that the vows of a couple are sealed."
Thanks WM, and each of YOU!
Ah a LOVE(LY) post.
ReplyDeleteSome marriages are made in heaven - mine and I hope yours was too. :)
How wonderful Cloudia to marry couples. You really put your soul in the ceremonies!
ReplyDeleteMay your weddings be blessed! Have a great weekend!
Γνῶθι σεαυτόν (Discover yourself)
ReplyDeletewritten above the door at the oracle of Delphi.
If this country has taught me anything, it is probably this - being about 3,000 miles far from Germany's show.
I got to your blog a few months back, maybe through some principle other bloggers. You and Rachael are probably the only non-12 steppers on my blogroll. I also follow M104.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, those are beautiful thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYou make me want to get in a plane with The Husband and fly to Hawaii so that you can marry us! We got married in a courthouse the first time.
ReplyDeleteOmigosh, Cloudia! Far out! (as we used to say in the good ole hippie days) I like it better when the man agrees with me 100% of the time, wink! :)
ReplyDeleteamen
ReplyDeletebeautiful treatise
namaste /\
aloha!
So beautiful, wow! My husband got ordained and married his Brother and wife in Maine (it was a pretty cool experience) :)
ReplyDeleteWe need more pics of you Cloudia, would have been cool to see you officiating or presiding, or whatever. You can throw yourself in here once in awhile.
ReplyDeleteWil Harrison.com
I am blessed on the wedded bliss C!
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