A L O H A !
"Half the harm
that is done in this world
is due to people
who want to feel
important. -
They don’t mean to do harm,
but the harm (that they cause)
does not interest them.
Or they do not see it,
or they justify it -
- because they are absorbed
in the endless struggle
to think well of themselves. "
T.S. Eliot
[]
One of life's
biggest challenges
is dealing with
Toxic Narcissists.
We are at a disadvantage
from the moment
they enter our lives.
How do you deal fairly
with those who act
like your judge:
criticizing,
expecting,
demanding?
Everything we do
is viewed by them
through the lens
of their self interest,
ego needs,
and suspicion.
"My way- or the highway"
Types
smother freedom
or declare war;
There's no middle ground
with them.
You are either
their emotional servant,
or an enemy.
This toxicity must be
avoided or contained
or it can poison
your well-being.
Moral, health,
and emotional hazards
abound
when they are our
family members,
neighbors,
co-workers,
or otherwise
unavoidable.
Remember:
Balance & discussion
are pointless:
"Trying to
reform narcissists
by reasoning with them
or by appealing to their
better nature is
about as effective
as spitting in the ocean.”
Anon.
They will remember
and repeat
their negative interpretation
of your every act,
no matter how long ago,
even as they are blind
to their own behavior
and it's real world
consequences.
Which complicates the fact
that the only way to
interact with them
is behavioral.
[If you cannot
avoid them altogether]
Do not be baited.
Remain centered.
Do what you need to do.
Say little.
Do not "ignore them"
ostentatiously.
Speak courteously always.
This will frustrate their
tactic of lying about you
to others:
Don't give them material.
[ They can appear
quite lovely to those
they are not fixated on.
Usually it is their own
children or family members
who bear the brunt. ]
Don't believe them
when they try
to draw you in,
or they will
"Gas Light" you.
Just listen politely.
They well know how
to manipulate
whenever
it suits them.
They may even dangle
the loving relationship
you seek.
Don't kick that football
Charlie Brown!
Link
Just do your duty.
Give them love.
Stay safe.
Remember:
This is all about
their fragile,
wounded ego.
Good Luck!
Have you experienced this?
Share in comments please -
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