Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mamogram Ma'am

Click on photos to enlarge!
A winter sky morning in Waikiki

"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others." Robert Louis Stevenson

"Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival." Hannah Arendt

Why endure conditions like the photo above
when you can be in this lovely institution?

" You must do the things you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt

But there's a lovely Zen Garden outside the

Window. (below)

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt
But the view from the parking structure was
GREAT! (bottom)

I'm no wimp.

I've ridden my motorcycle at 100 mph with only a flimsy ball cap pulled down over my brow, and helped to found a women's M.C. Club that flew our own back "Patch" and had the respect of the local outlaw clubs. . .

I have endured painful hospitalizations, and I have played impromptu Jazz on stage before hundreds of people. . .

At 16 I hitch-hiked away from home with a bed roll to see the world, and I have sailed out of sight of land, into international waters and to other nations. . .

I have done street outreach work in drug districts and prostitution zones all by myself in the middle of the night. . .

I drove a taxi overnight. . .

But I was afraid to have a mammogram and I made up my mind about that years ago. . .

Then my doctor found something or other in a breast exam and I agreed to have an ultrasound taken. You know what happened next: they recommended a diagnostic mammogram. . .

A small part of me was happy under the fear.
"What am I happy about?" I asked my little secret self.
"Oh this is great!" I replied to myself.
"Yeah! Either you'll be clear, or maybe you'll find something early."
Hmmm; that sounded pretty smart. But what about the decision I'd made?
"Change your mind." And so I did. . .

The waiting was the hardest part. I even had nightmares about it. But I kept it all to myself except for my dear friend Beth. Why worry my husband? (Though I'd kill him if he did the same thing ;-) . . .

Today was the day.
It wasn't that bad. And now I know that I'm clear. Plus I've learned just how much I want to stick around this fizzing world of ours! I want to live to see what will happen next!

The other worries in my life have been cut down to size. I'm alive; and I'm keeping my breast. YAY!!!!!! I called my favourite husband to tell him the good news. . .

Dedicated to RiverPoet, Daryl, Akelamalu, and all the fearless and amazing women and men I've met here in the blogosphere.
A L O H A! Cloudia