Aloha Reborn!

Aloha is Reborn!

A New Day For Hawaii

"Discrimination. . . never fit in Hawaii.

In large mesure because of the culture

of the Islands' original inhabitants,

intolerance is simply not in Hawaii's

DNA.  Our diversity hasn't allowed it."

Dan Boylen,
 Hawaii Political Commentator

It's hard to explain how I feel today.

It feels like "Day 1" and everything

is going to be OK.

I was a young teen celebrating a birthday

that week in 1969 when the queers & homos

at the STONEWALL, a dive bar in New York City,

refused to submit to one more round of

rousting, jailing, exposure, public humiliation

 and job loss

just for being in a place,

just for being a certain kind of

person:

a non-citizen, a social problem.

It was completely acceptable back then,

like smoking in a car with small children was,

to make jokes about queers and fags and dykes.
And to fire them upon exposure.

It was something that adults joked about,

except when one of "them"

made a normal person angry.

Then it was no joke.

Boys who wouldn't or couldn't "act like a man"

were humiliated and bullied by children

and by adults

usually including their teachers and parents,

for "their own good."

Many kids were sent away for "cure."

Many "cured"  themselves,

maintaining their intolerable secret

through suicide.

Some were prayed-over (humiliated)

by the entire congregation

in front of God and everybody!

Life would be dark

if you felt drawn to the wrong gender.


Someone was always there
to make sure of that.

If you are a member of some other minority,

your family is with you and you learn

to survive along with your people.

But if you were one of those fags

 or tomboys

you were a despised minority

in your own house

and had to hold your breath

when the adults made jokes,

or shook their heads

about "those people."

It was stuff kids weren't supposed to know about.

So questioning youth was isolated, frightened, and alone-

even more that average youth.

If you did not know what to look for

a whole "other" secret world

existed in your own hometown:

certain bars, businesses,

streets (after dark), certain parks,

drew a certain kind of person.

It was called "vice"

 and was a problem for the police.

Nice, kind people
 considered homosexuals mentally ill.

Their homo-children were institutionalized, drugged,

even lobotomized

because they "needed help."

"Sissy Boy Syndrome" was a real diagnosis!

And it was ALL Mom's fault.

The army might make a man of you. . .

(because there was a military draft then too,

so everybody's children fought

& died in wars.)

Many children were beaten,

then thrown out on the street.

Too many left home prematurely

 to go on their own.

No real choice.

The lucky ones found like-kind;

but even a secret, welcoming world

 has it's dangers-

especially a world made up of survivors

where internalized hatred of your own nature

could make you cynical, depressed, nasty,

or hopeless.

But the lucky ones

 found a hidden, welcoming world.

A world of art and taste and connoisseur-ship.

Oscar Wilde's wit, Tchaikovsky's music. . .

Of course,
one was still vulnerable to blackmail of every sort-

"Good riddance."

Human beings pay a price
 to live under such constant pressure

and self-concealment.

Alcoholism was as common in that demographic

as love of Judy Garland (Barbara Streisand, Madonna, Lady G. . . ).

But it was exciting back then to be part of a
 secret elite:

what movie stars are secretly
 "like us?"

Gay was an "inside" code word.

"Don't dare hijack the word 'gay' and the rainbow too:

they belong to everybody - except YOU!" 

The Daughters of Bilitis 
(notice the neutral-sounding name)

the first national lesbian organization was founded in 1955

by Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon & Barbara Gittings.

 (more here)

"Given the fearful political climate (1950's), 

Mattachine Society meetings often took place

 in secret with members using aliases, 

like the Communist Party. (more here)"

People who were considered

 tantamount to perverts and traitors

 bravely took the first steps

out of the closet.

It was in the days after STONEWALL

 that I lived my youth.

My mother was a receptionist in a beauty salon

so I had 'aunties' and 'uncles' when I visited there

throughout my childhood.

It was vulgar to hate such lovely people -

 that was the message I got

from my family;

But I also got the message from society 

that these were sad, damaged people - 

NOT role models!

I felt special being shown my first gay bar,

and a few years later,

walking into my first "girl" bar.

From the period of my childhood at the salon,

when the gay life was a secret that I was "in" on,

to the waving Rainbow Flag:

that was my youth-

Not to mention

the dear friends

I lost

to the Fearful Plague called

GRID (Gay Related Imuno-Deficiency)

just as they were starting

to live,

to fight for their rights,

to imagine that someday

they might breathe free.


I lost them,
WE all lost them,
too young.

Today we all know about AIDS;

and about Gay People

 wanting to become full citizens.

It is called an "Agenda" by some.

Yesterday,

the man I supported for Governor of Hawaii

signed his first bill into Law.

It legalized Civil Unions for any adult couple,
as he campaigned and promised.

I watched the televised ceremony

at HULA's Bar & Lei Stand (HERE)

along with my friends,

living & dead.

I cried like a baby at that moment

as oppressed people around me

cheered and toasted with champagne. 

The Press was there,

looking at us.

So many ages of cruelty

were beginning to be redressed.

Souls and society were being healed.

I believe that GOD smiled upon Hawaii yesterday.

"Everyone is welcome here in Paradise,"

my governor proclaimed

 with a big smile to applause.

An opposition leader,

associated with these painful battles,

who made his whole political career

based on this "issue" for 20 long years

here in Hawaii,

said on the TV:

"It's just telling those of us opposed

 to 'go to hell'."

Funny he should say that;

As an old friend of mine said once of such people:

"They believe we are going to hell,

and that it can't happen quick enough to suit them. They'll even help us along

 when conditions permit."

To hell? 

No, that's YOUR style Mr. Gabbard!

Hawaii's doors are now open to ALL.

Not just to "some"

who meet your approval.

I can feel a new energy in these islands

where our motto for over 160 years has been :

Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono

"The life of this land 
is perpetuated in righteousness."

Today it is truer than ever before.

Today I am still full of tears and wonder.

And gratitude: to the Queen of the Universe, 
and to my neighbors.

To Uncle Neil "Gov" Abercrombie!

Thanks for sharing this deep Aloha 
with us today. 

 Please come visit us!

In coming posts,

 I will introduce you to friends
 who will help you plan your trip.

And I would be very pleased to perform
 your marriage

 or C.U ceremony personally.

Egypt, Libya, Wisconsin, Hawaii:

 What is Pono (righteous) is on the march.

HOORAY!

Tell me how this makes YOU feel in comments!

cloudia

 "today we are all queens"

Thanks to the Honolulu Star Advertiser :

CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARADVERTISER.COM

"Tammy Rodrigues, left, and Antoinette Pregil hug after the signing of Senate Bill 232. Twenty years ago, the couple filed a lawsuit along with two other couples for same sex marriage."

TEARS

 JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM

Suzanne King, left, Tambry Young, and daughter Shylar Young, 11,

 embrace after the signing of Senate Bill 232.

Smiles

Courtesy: JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM

Senator Hee kisses da Gov

Kisses