Lifetime Friend

A  L  O  H  A  !

"Keep true

 to the dreams 

of your youth. "

Friedrich von Schiller

Farewell Noodle  (what it is here: LINK )

" A loving person 

lives in a loving world.

 A hostile person

 lives in a hostile world. 

Everyone you meet 

is your mirror."

Ken Keyes

" You can't build joy

 on a feeling 

of self-loathing. "

Ram Dass

Every August I post a tribute 

to a great friend,

a lifetime friend,

 that I lost a long time ago.

I never fail to think of him during his birth month,

 and smile at his "issues" about sharing it

 with National Clown Month!

You were no clown Carl.

I'll never forget you.

I was 15 in a new neighborhood.

The High School I attended was a big, modern red brick factory, a "good" school. But I found it rather dehumanizing.

While the Beatles sang, and I attended the first Earth Day in Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, my school was run by crew-cutted, career educators who believed in instilling certain values in the boys and girls in order to stem the tide of psychedelic social rebellion that they abhorred.

Criticism had not yet been supplanted by "self esteem."

Then I met a boy 

who lived a couple of miles away

 and attended another school,

 where he was the butt of abuse

 for being dark and quiet 

with amazingly expressive brown eyes.

Carl's House, Google Street View

The bullys loved to see

 pain register

 in those eyes

and they called him 

The Mexican.

He was actually Jewish,

 with a grandfather who had escaped

 poverty, sanctioned abuse, 

and a forced 20 year stretch 

in the Russian Army,

 by leaving Russia on horse back;

 and who had a picture of himself 

smoking a hookah with some sepia 

Turkoman traders. 

"Fuck the Czar" he always began

 when asked about those days.

 I cannot hear anything about the Czar 

on the History Channel or anywhere else 

without muttering "Fuck the Czar" 

under my breath in tribute to the old man.

One time, Carl (my friend)

 tried to shock grandpa

 by inviting him to smoke 

some hash with us.

"Hashish?! He asked incredulously.

"You want to smoke hashish!? - 

Hashish you EAT!!!!!"

We laughed about that for years.

Heck, I still do!

We were both carrying some baggage, OK, 

full baggage-cars FULL of baggage.

We hid out together in his bedroom 

and he taught me everything 

about classic films, though people called them

 "old movies" then, 

and they papered late night TV 

clotted with commercials.

He showed me the classic movie goddesses and heroes.

We learned about history, sociology, and culture.

Together we gasped at Busby Berkley's choreography,

and Cagney's style.

We especially loved the film noir of the 50's

 which spoke well to the lingering, sooty

 Philadelphia that we lived in.

Our lives entwined.

Sometimes we'd drive to Chinatown

 in his mom's Mercury at 3 am for Wor Shu Op

 (Pressed Duck) at the old South China on 10th street.

 One night, Jerry Stiller (Frank Costanza LINK) walked in

 to get take out; he was performing in town 

with his wife: Stiller & Meara. 

Their kid, Ben, was in footsie pajamas - 

not comedy movies - back then.

Carl and I learned about life together. 
We grew up
 a bit.

"Your boyfriend's gay" 
my helpful parents pointed out. 

Eventually, Carl graduated, went to college,

 and moved to New York City

 as he had always dreamed. 

He was a professional sign language interpreter

 in the courts - learning everything

 about a fascinating reality.

He was free of his abusers,

 had respect, 

and had learned to respect

 himself.

It was the best time ever

 to be a gay man:

The 1970's in Manhattan!

He was so excited 

when they asked him to be

 one of the first sign language interpreters

 to perform on the front 

of the Broadway Stage.

There he was in the playbill!

Chopinsky had been shortened to Chopin.

He was beautiful, sought after, 

and sharing the stage with Tommy Tune,

 Honey Coles and

 Twiggy 

in "My One and Only."

Just one of many productions

 that featured him.

During intermission,

 the hearing audience 

was buzzing about how they

 couldn't take their eyes off

 the guy signing.

And Tommy Tune 

was dancing at his peak then!

Then lots of guys started to get sick.

Carl's kidneys failed and he went on relief

 and on dialysis.

His outer beauty (so important to us then)

 dimmed - but his soulful eyes

 grew only richer and deeper.

I can close my eyes 

and look into them still.

I visited him before moving to Hawaii.

But we would always stay close.

So much of each other, 

so many memories and landmarks 

shared. . . .

Carl died in the AIDS epidemic.

A famed psychic 

once told me that two friends 

who have passed 

accompany me through life.

Perhaps I'll tell you about 

the other friend on another occasion.

But I know the one of them

is Carl.

We used to say:

 "If I close my eyes, you are still there.

There is more to our friendship

 than what can be touched or heard."

So true.

I often wonder how middle-aged me 

looks to forever young 

and handsome Carl. 

Some day we'll laugh about it.

If your friend(s) of adolescence 

are still in this world,

 call them today. 

Tell them Carl and I 

say "Aloha."

You can read more about our times here: LINK

A L O H A, True Friend

                                                cloudia