A L O H A !
(Hmmmm, what did she mean by THAT?!)
" Some people die at 25
and aren't buried until 75.
"
Benjamin Franklin
" There are some people
who,
if they don't already know,
you can't tell 'em.
"
Yogi Berra
" Nobody realizes
that some people
expend tremendous energy
merely to be normal. "
Albert Camus
“ True wisdom
comes to each of us
when we realize
when we realize
how little we understand
about life,
about life,
ourselves
& the world
around us. ”
Socrates
" Nothing pains some people
more than having to
think.
"
Martin Luther King, Jr.
" Even against the greatest of odds,
there is something
in the human spirit -
a magic blend of skill,
a magic blend of skill,
faith, and valor -
that can lift us
from certain defeat
to incredible victory. "
to incredible victory. "
Walter Lord
(1917 - 2002)
> < } } ( ° >
Yesterday,
I read a fascinating article
in Psychology Today
about Difficult People.
We all know them.
I wanted some tips:
how NOT
to let THEM
entangle me
in their dramas,
or worse,
to infect my emotions!
The Article was a clever inventory
of several difficult types,
all recognizable,
and each illustrated
with celebrity examples.
One thing became clear:
As I began to comprehend
the rationale behind
each 'difficult behavior'
A little voice
showed me that
I too
had behaved that way
at some time.
One feature
of difficult people
is that they blame
OTHERS
for the situations
that they themselves
create
over and over again.
Difficult people
lack self-knowledge
of HOW
they themselves
affect others.
So (follow me here)
for me to identify with
these very human traits-
to see them in myself
as well as in others-
made me feel
very mentally healthy,
Mature even!
There is so much anger
and blame around.
Powerful forces
that do not have
YOUR best interest
as their prime motive
have fomented
enormous disunity
in Society
world-wide.
Like the plantation masters
of "old"
they know that if we fight
each other
over nonsense
then we cannot
join together
in our own
best interests,
and those of people
Like Us
all over the globe.
So here it is:
"I'm a difficult person.
Sometimes I must be wrong
because I am human.
Let's really HEAR
each other
and stop looking
for points to score
in an endless
argument.
I'm game.
Are YOU?
Take Away Insight - Leave Your Comment
Warmly, cloudia
[ Info from the article mentioned are below with link ]
7 Ways to Defuse a Difficult Encounter
Having learned the hard way, Vancouver physician (and PT blogger) Susan Biali offers concrete steps for dealing with unreasonable person.- Minimize time with problem people. Keep interactions as short as possible.
- Keep it logical. Communications should be fact-based with minimal details. Don't try to connect and reason with difficult people. Their response will often only make you more upset.
- Focus on them in conversation. One way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation, or having your words twisted is to say as little as possible. They are a far safer subject of conversation than you are.
- Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish them to be. There are people in our lives who have moments when they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend/whatever we've always wanted. Yet they end up disappointing or hurting us. Accepting the person as is can be a remarkable relief.
- Avoid topics that get you into trouble. Before any interaction with a difficult person, mentally review the topics that invite attack and make an effort to avoid them. If your in-laws always demean your choice of career, change the topic immediately if they ask how your work is going.
- Don't try to get them to see your point of view. Don't try to explain yourself or get them to empathize with you.They won't. And you'll just feel worse for trying.
- Create a distraction. Play with a pet if there is one handy. Plan the interaction around some kind of recreational activity or entertainment. Or get the other person to do something that absorbs their attention (taking it off you). Just don't use alcohol as your distraction of choice. It will only make you more likely to say or do something that will set you up as a target or make you feel bad later.
