"I Don't Care" - Giving

Aloha
Co-Conspirator!



please click on these photos and let them breathe

Playground Rainbow


“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”

John Vance Cheney

Lucille Lotus & Company




“I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position.

My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter

and I'm looking out of my third eye

and everything that I'm supposed to be doing.

It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence.

'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of

Clorox 2.'”


Ellen DeGeneres

-

“In the pure, immaculate waters,

both the lotus and the slimy scum are found.”


Sri Guru Granth Sahib

Mast Flame


"All thoughts, all passions, all delights

Whatever stirs this mortal frame

All are but ministers of Love

And feed His sacred flame."


Samuel Taylor Coleridge



><>

Growing up in my family
we always knew JUST what to do
when any normal problem came up:




Panic, irritation, blame, avoidance, blow-ups,
emotional bludgeoning.




You guys think I'm like this yoga person,
but don't "get" that I'm just a recovering
nervous wreck.
(Maybe you do !)




"It is not spiritual experts
who need to become monks,"
Said Thomas Merton,
"but those who need constant...what word did he use?
help, perhaps? Something like that.




I need calm and regularity
almost as much as an autistic,
though I am high-fun-ctioning.




Into this scenario
comes my elderly mother,
aging a mile from here.





I realize that today she might be diagnosed
with attention-deficit
which explains her lack of focus on us kids
except as sources of irritation.




Now she is widowed,
recovering from surgery
and living a life based on a house of cards
that I must shuffle
without disturbing my own apple-cart
including my husband's
peace of mind.




Not to mention our financial security
which is now tied up with hers.





Suddenly, I have a million jobs and worries
that are no way germane
to the things I gotta do,
want to do.



But St. John was right:
"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."





Strange thing is, I'm rockin` and rollin`
with a good confidence
and joy in my way of life,
in my attitudes and beliefs
that you see at this blog.






My mind is too often consumed with the problems of
MoM


BUT


NOT


with the problems of resentment
and unfinished business!



In a recent piece in HARPERS,
Sallie Tisdale
discusses the costs of care-giving
and shares the Social Work field's
distinction between the OBJECTIVE BURDEN
and the SUBJECTIVE BURDEN of care-giving.





The OBJECTIVE Burden is all the stuff you gotta do.

The SUBJECTIVE burden is essentially:

"The gamut of negative emotional reactions to care-giving,
such as stress,tension, anger, worry, sadness,
and feelings of guilt and shame."

Chaya Schwartz & Lilit Hadar






Those two Israeli social workers prove in their research,
that it is the SUBJECTIVE burden
that is hardest to bear.





Somehow I have understood this on a fundamental level;
I see, like in the optical illusion of the two faces/vase



my anger, resentments and hurts

BUT

I also see that "What is - IS."




I can remain myself, remain at peace
and keep the bad feelings at bay.




I can refuse to return her
selfishness and de-facto contempt.




I can give her support
without twisting up my gut.





I can, and I must;

or all is lost.





I don't want to go back to that emotional black hole
that I grew up in.



I don't want to remember being on my own at age 16
except as a great adventure and source of pride.





When she is gone,
I will be glad I did.




My brother
who they cared for well into (questionable) adulthood
shook out his wings and emigrated to Canada
just as the well ran dry
and care would be needed.





He hates me for "being in charge" financially
(read: Responsible)
and has declared:
"Expect no help."





But I understand now that he hates me
(nothing personal, he doesn't even know me)
as one prisoner hates another
for reminding him of his own youthful humiliations.





So if I post irregularly, and don't comment at you place
as much as I like to,
please don't think I'm out having fun.




Oh, I AM having fun, even with all the work and responsibility;



Now I'M the MoM
and I'm doing it MY way, as She did.




Only MY way makes everyone feel better,
not just everyone except
the scape-goat.



BAAAA AAAAAA,



cloudia

Rhapsodiasical

Aloha & Welcome to the Beauty of
HAWAII

click on the pictures

"The trouble with life isn't that there is no answer,
it's that there are so many answers."

Ruth Benedict

"Everything should be made as simple as possible,
but not simpler."

Einstein

"There is always some specific moment

when we realize our youth is gone;

but years after, we know it was much later."


Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960


><>


Just being born an average person:
no wealth,
no connections,
no extraordinary talents,
no extraordinary luck,
is the greatest challenge,
and adventure
in the universe.


What do YOU think?


Thank You for Visiting,
Kindly leave a comment!
cloudia

Drenched

Aloha Welcome

FRIEND!

Click on the cloud pics

I wandered lonely as a Cloudia...

Flotsam Gems

Um, OK...

Saturday on Waikiki Beach:

Jennifer Bright, left, Lyndsay Haywood, center, and Lisa Chin are drenched in chocolate syrup to symbolize the oil-drenched wildlife in the Gulf of Mexico.

Courtesy of DENNIS ODA at Honolulu's STARADVERTISER.COM

(related naughtiness HERE)

><>

"When our intentions toward others are good,

we find that any feelings of anxiety or insecurity we may have

are greatly reduced.

We experience a liberation from our habitual preoccupation

with self and paradoxically, this gives rise

to strong feelings of confidence."

Dalai Lama

&

cloudia

ALOHA!

My Time Machine

Aloha,
Golden Summer FRIEND!

click on the pics :)

Waikiki is known for sweeping sky vistas...



"A man without ambition is dead.
A man with ambition but no love is dead.
A man with ambition
and love for his blessings here on earth
is forever so
alive."

Pearl Bailey

...But there are little secrets to find. What is this?


"Happiness comes of the capacity

to feel deeply,

to enjoy simply,

to think freely,

to risk life,

to be needed."

Storm Jameson

A little hobo cat lies sleeping.



“The more you know,

the less you need”

Australian Aboriginal Proverb


><>

I love my time machine.
You may call it a scooter, but to me it is a magic carpet.
Since I usually walk through Waikiki
it seems magically effortless to swoop down these same streets
open to the skies,
to Heaven,
yet keeping my eyes alive all around me.

In a car
you are behind a windshield.
Bikers call cars
"cages."

But on two wheels
you are part of the scene
part of the weather.

I feel rejuvenated!

Of course,
car drivers come to two wheelers
with lots of bad driving habits,
like assuming that others see them.

On a bike you must always remember
that you are invisible.

You must pay Zen attention to your surroundings all around,
not merely ride the bumper of the car ahead.


I was a licensed motorcyclist
before I was licensed to drive a car.

On a bike you are active,
like a cow girl riding herd on the traffic.
The complete attention is soothing,
meditative.

And the time part?

Well I'm able to swing into a place,
park right away,
complete my chore
and on to the next place.


Suddenly it feels possible
(and fun)
to accomplish every little task.

What fun activity
have you forgotten?


Go build a sand castle,
or a go cart!

If you decide to ride on two wheels
it would be a good idea
to take a rider course.

Break out of the cage.


Let's FLY!


Thank YOU for swinging by here- cloudia


A serious note: Many of you have asked for pictures of the scooter.
I'd enjoy showing you, but it occurs to me that the web has many
lurkers, some of whom might live here in Honolulu.

Prudence demands a certain reserve, and I advise YOU to
safeguard YOUR self while on line too.

So NO scooter pictures. Sorry.

But just picture me on a little Japanese pony
having the time of my life
and you will "have" the
true picture!

Now YOU stay safe :)

More Parade

Aloha Friday is Here!





Click on the birdies

“God finds a low branch for the bird that cannot fly.”

Turkish Proverb

"Reading is to the mind

what exercise is to the body."


Sir Richard Steele

And here is a slide show of more parade pictures:




Thanks for YOUR visit!

cloudia

Hello Sailor(s)

Aloha, Friend!



click on the clouds

Eaves, skies, and spirits soaring!



"I bought a cactus.

A week later it died.

And I got depressed,

because I thought, Damn,

I am less nurturing than a desert."


- Demetri Martin

Taiko Taiko One Day...




"An uncle gave me a side drum

and my mother decided I should have lessons."


Humphrey Lyttelton

Australian Military Pilot



“It is courage, courage, courage,

that raises the blood of life to crimson splendor.

Live bravely and present a brave front to adversity.”

Horace

><>

The flotilla approaches our island of Oahu.

34 military ships, five submarines, and more than 100 aircraft from 14

Pacific nations,

began their maneuvers yesterday.

It was just the start of activities that will last till August first.

Some 20,000 officers, sailors, submariners,

and aviators will be exploring our town

when their schedules permit,

for they will spend the bulk of it practicing

to hunt submarines,

to clear mines,

and to otherwise cooperate and collaborate.

A few missiles will even be fired!

New York City may enjoy Fleet Week annually

(Hi, Daryl :)

but the U.S. Pacific fleet at Pearl Harbor

gets to play host to colleagues

from Australia, Chile, Indonesia, Japan, Singapore and South Korea

(among others)

for RIMPAC (Rim of the Pacific) Exercises on alternate years.

It's sort of a naval

"You show me yours, and I'll show you mine."

Taxi drivers, bar girls, and t-shirt shops: gear up for more business!

Hello Sailor...

And aloha to YOU, my webby friend!

cloudia

Floral Parade

Aloha, Friend!
Welcome to the
Kamehameha Day Floral Parade


click on the parade!

Pau Rider


"No child but must remember laying his head in the grass,
staring into the infinitesimal forest
and seeing it grow populous with fairy armies."

Robert Louis Stevenson,
Essays in The Art of Writing

Ladies of a Royal Society



"The thing I was attracted to as a little girl
was Kirk, Bones and Spock, and their utter loyalty.
There's nothing more powerful than that."

Jolene Blalock


"When you eat fruit,
think of the person who planted the tree"

VIETNAMESE SAYING

It's a family thing.

"A hug is like a boomerang - you get it back right away."

Bil Keane, "Family Circus"




"Millions and millions of years
would still not give me half enough time
to describe that tiny instant of all eternity
when you put your arms around me
and I put my arms around you."

Jacques Prévert




"Everybody needs a hug.
It changes your metabolism."

Leo Buscaglia




"You can't wrap love in a box,
but you can wrap a person in a hug."

Author Unknown

Honolulu Police Department Motor Officer
wearing a maile lei.

Celebrating Kamehameha the Great,
the "Napoleon of the Pacific,"
the "Lonely One."
He united the islands into one kingdom
1810.

"Children make you want to start life over."
Muhammad Ali

Old & New:
Feathered Capes and Mobile Phones

"Face in the Crowd"




><>

Sure is Summer, isn't it?
Well, here in the northern it is.
Minds wander, and blog traffic dips.

But the desire to take pictures,
to reach out,
and to share with jolly friends
only blossoms.

We excuse each other
for the long days of reverie
far from the internet.

Love you guys;
That's ALOHA!
:) cloudia

Mrs. Cheng's Tofu

Aloha,
Summery FRIEND



remember to click on pics

Field Trip!


Tucked away in Honolulu's light industrial, residential,
catch-all neighborhood of Kalihi
you can find one of our little gems: Mrs. Cheng's Tofu Factory.

Our town has long imported and manufactured the ethnic foods
that our island population enjoys. There are other tofu factors in town.
We also produce Aloha Shoyu (soy sauce) Portuguese bread, halo-halo and adobo (Filipino treats).
We have several little and big noodle factories,
and even enjoyed our own local sake brewery. . . once upon a time.

Let's go inside to buy some fresh tofu, shall we?




"Have a mouth as sharp as a dagger,
but a heart as soft as tofu."

strange Chinese Proverb

All very basic but sanitary.



"Run, they're handing out tofu again!"
Panic scream of child trick-or treating on Halloween
'America's Food' by Harvey Blatt (2008)

Check out the Chinese instructions
on that super-special tofu machine!



"The method of making doufu dates back to Liu An (179-122B.C.), the Prince of Huainan.
It is made of soya beans,
either the black or the yellow variety."


Ancient Chinese work on medicinal herbs

Here is the prey we seek fresh from the oven:
Tofu Cheese, a baked specialty of Mrs. Cheng.




"Traditionally in the U.S., tofu was eaten by vegetarians as a protein substitute for meat. It was generally served plain, in large chunks completely devoid of flavor."

Brita Housez

Here it is packaged and at home, ready to eat!


" I like tofu cheese
and soy milk in my coffee and cereal."

~ Grace Slick quotes


Ah, Bertrand Russel was right:
"There is much pleasure to be gained
from useless information."


Thanks for visiting us here in Waikiki today!

Summer Memories

Aloha Friend!

"One of the greatest victories
you can gain over someone
is to beat him
at politeness."

Josh Billings

"Vision without execution
is hallucination."

Edison

This guy is a surf board shaper.
He must use a lightening-bolt motif on some of his boards.





"One of the greatest things
about the sport of surfing
is that you need only three things:
your body, a surf-board, and a wave."

NAIMA GREEN



><>



What a weekend!
I was invited
to carry the Hawaii flag
at the head of
Honolulu's PRIDE festival.


I always wanted to lead my own parade!


Then we attended the retirement party
of our friend Chuck
who served 30 years
in the US Army.




Years ago,
during the challenging times of my younger days,
I used to say to my dear friend, Labig:
"Some day things will be better."




"Cloudi,"
he'd say,
"These ARE the good old days."




My life is more settled now.
Somehow it all worked out for the best.



But thinking back on my dear friend,
gone these many years,
I remember long Summer days
at the ball park,
and dinners to which
he picked up the check
time and time again.


Once I told him that being with him
was just as relaxing as being alone.
And he understood just what I meant.



As I recall those days long ago
I realize that he was right;
Those were golden days indeed.

And though I miss him,
plus so many others gone,
I look back with gratitude
and much aloha.

I thought of them all
as I led the parade through Waikiki.
"This one's for you guys."



THESE are the good times too.


I understand that now.


Don't waste your time
dreaming of
"some day."


That's a fool's
or a child's
game.


Drink today all the way down!


It is the nectar.


Don't wait to look back
to realize it!


Fondly, cloudia

I Needed It Bad

ALOHA Dear Friend!

How did I live without it for so long?

I haven't had a functioning two-wheeled vehicle
for a while now.







My 1973 BMW R75/5
(the one that was built from the frame-out just for me
and painted a unique lilac colour)
had served me well:
I looked GREAT on it!

But it was getting taller, and heavier all the time.
I was like the curator of a precious antique,
and began to dream of something smaller...

I began dreaming about my old Honda Magna that had helped
me to found a women's motorcycle club...



About the beautiful, handmade, Italian Moto Morini


that he almost bought for me 25 years ago...



That day when my brother and I saw the other kids in the neighborhood
skateboarding with store-bought rides
and caught the same fever
riding every day after school till dark for months...




About that Rupp mini-bike that Joey B showed up with one day,
wowing all of us kids
who angled for "just one ride PLEASE"
and then the uncanny freedom
of flying through the Summer neighborhood,
smelling the cut grass, hearing the birds,
SOARING under the open skies
of childhood...




Then there was the life guard at the pool
who rode a Lambretta
and took me along for under-aged rides
that I never forgot;
There's just SOMETHING about a man on two wheels.


Biker culture
plays a key role in my Hawaii novel
'Aloha Where You Like Go?'
as it has in my life.
(scroll ALL the way down for a link to amazon :)
And I liked being the tough, sexy chick
on the amazing bike.


But now I just want to have fun.




So this week
for my birthday
I got a brand new
brand-name Japanese Scooter!





It's official, all my old biker friends:
I am now a wimp. (Scooter!)





It's light and fun and just right for me.
I'm outside instead of hunched over this keyboard
for hours a day.




Suddenly there are a million places to visit,
things to do,
and just the joy of being in the wind.




How did I live without it for SO long?




Funny how one thing
can make everything
NEW again!




I'm just having SO much fun.




This island is perfect for such a machine.
It is a licensed motor vehicle
and can handle the major highways.
But I can pull over anywhere
and snap a few photos easily
now that my camera lives in the
cup holder.




I'm not riding a moped!
That will come when I'm even older :)
right before the mobility scooter.
Beep! Beep!




So please forgive me
if I haven't commented at your place lately.




I'll be back,
I want to know what's happening with you.




Even though I know I'm having the most fun right now...




Vroom Vroom! Beep Beep!

I mean:
'ALOHA' cloudia