Monday Shmonday

ALOHA
Friend


click on photos

"As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Nelson Mandela

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"The only normal people

are folks you don't really know yet."

-Gerald McBoingBoing

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"Until you've lost your reputation,

you never realize what a burden it was

or what freedom is all about."

-Margaret Mitchell

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Anxiety comes from past regrets or future anticipation.
Pausing to inhabit THIS moment, just being in your skin, saves so much energy
that it becomes noticeable.

Let go of responsibility for the words and attitudes of others.
Just love them and let them be.
Tolerance for others and for yourself
are inextricably bound together.

Notice how much of your inner dialogue is judgments.
Are you being paid to be a judge? It's hard work!

Try this: When you notice judgments arising: stop and smile and breathe.
Notice your surroundings. Your only dogma: DE-ESCALATE.
Think: "So what, who cares?"
Even driving will get smoother and your gas mileage will improve!
You'll build an energy surplus.

Watch how you "take the bait" of daily life.
And SURPRISE: you will make better choices from a place of wisdom,
instead of being a reaction robot.

Aloha! cloudia



bouus:

Behold da Mighty Land

Saturday Lark

Welcome

to

Aloha Saturday

here in

Waikiki

click on photos, eh?

See the canoe full of paddlers?



"Live in the sunshine, swim the sea,
drink the wild air."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chinese New Year is percolating throughout Honolulu.
Think of me breathlessly chasing the sound of ancient drums and gongs;
sniffing the tropic air for the smell of firecrackers, keeping my eyes peeled for gutters and sidewalks banked with tell-tale red paper.


Good luck is everywhere to be welcomed.
Here, feed the dancing lion this dollar.
Where else can you have so much fun
while courting good fortune to last all year?

Gung Hee Fat Choy, everybody!

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"Always speak politely to an enraged Dragon."
Steven Brust

Narcissus Queens Smile


“There is one spectacle grander than the sea,
that is the sky;
there is one spectacle grander than the sky,
that is the interior of the soul”

Victor Hugo


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Dare to believe in your own grandeur;
move through your weekend
like a benevolent sovereign.
Not haughty,
but with love & protection for all.

Guard the throne room
of your sweetest heart
and greet the new year
tiger
as your friend. . .

ALOHA, cloudia

ALOHA
Welcome to Friday
in
Waikiki

click on the foliage to release the good luck

These are Friday fronds!

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"All of us should strive for a newer and better self-
take our lives to the next level."
LL Cool J

Sea turtles like to hide on the bottom among the treasures of the deep.


"Why do we love the sea?
It is because it has some potent power
to make us think things we like to think."
Robert Henri

Chinatown Florist Cat



“There are two means of refuge
from the miseries of life:
music and cats."

Albert Schweitzer


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They say that when you find what you were born to do
you will know it.

After many years of soul searching,
wandering,
aspiring, succeeding, failing,
I think I now see my destiny clearly:


A recent study in Pediatric Anesthesia
reported that Medical Clowns
"significantly alleviate pre-operative anxiety
in children better than, or at least equal to,
pharmaceutical medication."

Medical Clowns?!

Sometimes called:
Clown Doctors
these professionals work in nations
around the world.

The Big Apple Circus, alone,
has participated in the training
and placement
of these funny healers
in more than 18 facilities
throughout the US.

There is something about
warmth,
and the puncturing of pretense,
that touches the human heart
in any situation.

Let us take ourselves
less seriously,
shall we?

Let us bring lightness
wherever we go today.

Now let's all get into the tiny car together-


ALOHA, cloudia

Home Town Hero

Aloha, Friend!
Welcome to Thursday
in
Waikiki


click on the photos to capture the rich juices

When we first moved to Hawaii
we enjoyed watching Sumo wrestling on TV.
Now it's pay-per-view (and I ain't paying) but it was very popular here, especially in the 90s because a few local boys made it to Yokozuna status. Perhaps the most popular was Konishiki,
since retired and returned to Oahu.
Above is a Honolulu restaurant that appeals to locals and Japanese visitors alike.

What comes to mind when you hear the term: "Professional Athlete?"
Here is a picture of the beloved sports hero at the height of his career.

Recently he appeared on morning TV (at left, above).
He has lost a lot of weight, now that his career doesn't require him
to shove other giants out of the circle.
Here is Bruddah IZ' tribute in song to the Hawaii Sumotri:



And here is a short video of a Sumo match:



ALOHA, Sports Fans! cloudia

Family Circus

ALOHA

it's
Wednesday in Waikiki!

click on the photos-on parade

"Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses."

"Be not ashamed of mistakes, and thus make them crimes."

"It does not matter how slowly you go, as long as you do not stop."
This, and quotes above it: Confucious

"You don't choose your family.
They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
Desmond Tutu



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When I first moved to Hawaii, it was disconcerting when folks asked about my family.
Family, OHANA, is a most important part of our local culture, growing out of the Hawaiian
host culture, and the other cultures (Asian, Pacific Islander, Madeira Portuguese) that make up the fabric of our island society.

Western culture is much more individualistic, the mountain man, explorer, or cowboy, heads out to test himself against the frontier. Plus, I was always the odd man out in my family. My brother, a few years ago, told me that he realized that it was kinda the 3 of them vs me; it was the only family solidarity they knew!

So when local people asked me about my family, I felt confused and disregarded.
"I'm not a part of a family, I'm ME! Not the screw-up my parents abhorred, but a good person!"


My brother, one the other hand, lived very close my parents (after they followed their grandchildren to Hawaii) and they practically raised his 2 children, while backing him in the acquisition of credit and mortgages, and all the help represented by being part of a family.



Any planned attempts at family healing was "about me" and always devolved into hurtful re-plays of my childhood: me VS the "normal" people. If only I could confess whatever evil or shortcoming they hate!


But as in childhood, healthy self-preservation kicked in
and I withdrew or rebelled as always.
Yes, my parents gave me the tools, and role models, to work well with others! Looking back from today, I see how the chip on my shoulder (Don't you dare treat me as "less than!") was the defining feature of my interactions with others and society at large. No wonder I took up ministering to the untouchables and outcasts!
Only service turned down the self-loathing.
There. I said it.




I was Odysseus, out on my own for years.
Then my husband and I were in the boat together.
He taught me to trust another person; and
that I am lovable and good.



When my parents decided to move to Oahu (from the neighbor island) it was to find an easy maintenance apartment, and be close to health care and family (me and hubby!).



They also needed our good credit to buy that apartment.
We have lived modestly so as to always have freedom and options.
Now the folks who handicapped me emotionally (stop snivelling!) needed something rather major from us. I thought of the scorpion asking passage across the pond from the frog. But I also thought of the longed-for opportunity to get close to my parents, and for them to see me as a successful, loving, adult.



Old habits die hard.
My happiness and solicitousness seemed to annoy them as "phony" or maybe they felt. . . guilty about how they had always treated me?



I took every opportunity to show affection to them, especially my Dad who I now realize shaped my whole (messed up) outlook on life. Thing is, he didn't live by the rules he taught by example. My nemesis, who ALWAYS found much to criticize about anything I did, rather enjoyed life and was easy on himself. He was even charming to people outside the family! Any problems were someone else's fault (often mine) and were met with anger.
(I never sang for - or pleased my father. Boo Hoo)


My husband and friends noticed what I was up against.


When the newness wore off their son-in-law due to proximity, they started finding fault with him too (the guy who was helping them - "What an idiot, treating HER well!"). Mom told me I "spoil" him with affection. That made me feel like my marriage is on a good track; even if we don't carp and fight like my parents always did).


Dad called business that pertained to his apartment (which was in our names) and passed himself off as my husband, often starting fights or acting rude in the process!! On an Island, your name is your bond. The scorpion was stinging my husband (some thanks) and now treating him as rudely as they always had me.


Dad died last May, and I've realized a lot.
I'm happy that he felt my love, that I was able to help him instead of "getting even;" and in his defense, he wanted me to have a place to live someday, even if it will be after they are done with it - and he was protecting himself from medical impoverishment (PRESCIENT!).


"Your brother has a house;
I want you to have somewhere to live when you get older.
I helped him plenty."


My brothers expectations and hurt feelings about "his inheritance" bubbled over when Dad was dying. Bro and Mom trapped hubby and I into a wrenching argument over Dad's sick bed about putting my brother's name on the deed. Not the mortgage - just the deed. Did I mention that he has emigrated to Canada, now that my parents don't own a huge home he can live in?

"If you need ANY help with Mom & Dad:
Forget it!" He shouted at me over the phone.
As if his duty to be a human was contingent on Dad's (or my) acting in Bro's interests.
What a guy. No wonder Mom adores him and listens to his problems.
A shame she can't bail him out with checks like she always has.




Brother travelled here from Canada a couple of times as Dad lay dying. I'm glad he did, but I'm so shell-shocked by his anger, that I'm basically nervous whenever I think of him.



"Why is my Dad so angry?" my (adult) niece and nephew (his kids) asked me after witnessing a a scene or two of the drama.



So I got to show Dad my love.
Now I'm responsible for Mom's well-being too.
The daughter often is, and I've also noticed that sometimes the Black Sheep returns surprisingly, like the prodigal, and ushers the parents out of this life with devotion and love.
(My brother never read that part of the Bible I guess.)


I miss Dad,
and I'm glad to finally see through the illusions we shared.
I'm also grateful that he wanted to provide for his wayward daughter too. (Someday - but NICE!).



So when folks ask about my family, I understand that they are trying to get to know me, not bring up a painful reaction.



Funny how life turns around.
When I observe good parenting (and many of YOU blog friends who come here are exemplary parents!) it still makes me a little sad for the things that I was hungry for as a kid. But the grand anger has dissipated in the morning light of insight.


As Chinese New Year season ripens upon us, I realize how natural it is for us to worship our ancestors and feel their affection and help. I love my Dad for the tough upbringing that made me strong and independent.
The time for us to butt heads is long passed.
I like to feel that he is freed from his earthly illusions, and that I have been liberated by insight from the world he showed me.


Our Earth story is over now.


I send him my love.
And I miss him.
Strangely more than either Mom or Brother seem to.
It was he and I that had soul-ish business together, I think.
Someday hubby and I will live in the apartment that he provided
with our help.


Thanks Dad.


You can read a post about my Dad that became a guest column in the Honolulu Star Bulletin HERE.


ALOHA! cloudia

Surfboy Solution

"God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools."
John Muir

"Just living is not enough.
One must have sunshine, freedom,
and a little flower."
Hans Christian Anderson

"As a white candle in a holy place.
So is the beauty of an aged face."
Joseph Campbell

"Gracefulness is an idea belonging to posture and motion.
In both these, to be graceful,
it is requisite that there be no appearance of difficulty."
Edmund Burke


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Next time you are having difficulty
making a decision,
you can try this.


Just ask yourself:
"If I was enlightened,
what would I do?"

The answer might just arise,
ready or not!


Thanks for visiting today!
ALOHA, cloudia