Thursday, February 24, 2011

Aloha Reborn!

Aloha is Reborn!


A New Day For Hawaii



"Discrimination. . . never fit in Hawaii.
In large mesure because of the culture
of the Islands' original inhabitants,
intolerance is simply not in Hawaii's
DNA.  Our diversity hasn't allowed it."


Dan Boylen,
 Hawaii Political Commentator






It's hard to explain how I feel today.
It feels like "Day 1" and everything
is going to be OK.

I was a young teen celebrating a birthday
that week in 1969 when the queers & homos
at the STONEWALL, a dive bar in New York City,
refused to submit to one more round of
rousting, jailing, exposure, public humiliation
 and job loss
just for being in a place,
just for being a certain kind of
person:
a non-citizen, a social problem.



It was completely acceptable back then,
like smoking in a car with small children was,
to make jokes about queers and fags and dykes.
And to fire them upon exposure.


It was something that adults joked about,
except when one of "them"
made a normal person angry.
Then it was no joke.



Boys who wouldn't or couldn't "act like a man"
were humiliated and bullied by children
and by adults
usually including their teachers and parents,
for "their own good."


Many kids were sent away for "cure."
Many "cured"  themselves,
maintaining their intolerable secret
through suicide.


Some were prayed-over (humiliated)
by the entire congregation
in front of God and everybody!



Life would be dark
if you felt drawn to the wrong gender.


Someone was always there
to make sure of that.



If you are a member of some other minority,
your family is with you and you learn
to survive along with your people.


But if you were one of those fags
 or tomboys
you were a despised minority
in your own house
and had to hold your breath
when the adults made jokes,
or shook their heads
about "those people."




It was stuff kids weren't supposed to know about.
So questioning youth was isolated, frightened, and alone-
even more that average youth.




If you did not know what to look for
a whole "other" secret world
existed in your own hometown:
certain bars, businesses,
streets (after dark), certain parks,
drew a certain kind of person.



It was called "vice"
 and was a problem for the police.



Nice, kind people
 considered homosexuals mentally ill.
Their homo-children were institutionalized, drugged,
even lobotomized
because they "needed help."




"Sissy Boy Syndrome" was a real diagnosis!
And it was ALL Mom's fault.
The army might make a man of you. . .
(because there was a military draft then too,
so everybody's children fought
& died in wars.)




Many children were beaten,
then thrown out on the street.

Too many left home prematurely
 to go on their own.

No real choice.







The lucky ones found like-kind;
but even a secret, welcoming world
 has it's dangers-
especially a world made up of survivors
where internalized hatred of your own nature
could make you cynical, depressed, nasty,
or hopeless.






But the lucky ones
 found a hidden, welcoming world.

A world of art and taste and connoisseur-ship.

Oscar Wilde's wit, Tchaikovsky's music. . .

Of course,
one was still vulnerable to blackmail of every sort-


"Good riddance."


Human beings pay a price
 to live under such constant pressure
and self-concealment.


Alcoholism was as common in that demographic
as love of Judy Garland (Barbara Streisand, Madonna, Lady G. . . ).


But it was exciting back then to be part of a
 secret elite:
what movie stars are secretly
 "like us?"





Gay was an "inside" code word.
"Don't dare hijack the word 'gay' and the rainbow too:
they belong to everybody - except YOU!" 

The Daughters of Bilitis 
(notice the neutral-sounding name)
the first national lesbian organization was founded in 1955
by Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon & Barbara Gittings.
 (more here)










"Given the fearful political climate (1950's), 
Mattachine Society meetings often took place
 in secret with members using aliases, 
like the Communist Party. (more here)"






People who were considered
 tantamount to perverts and traitors
 bravely took the first steps
out of the closet.


It was in the days after STONEWALL
 that I lived my youth.




My mother was a receptionist in a beauty salon
so I had 'aunties' and 'uncles' when I visited there
throughout my childhood.

It was vulgar to hate such lovely people -
 that was the message I got
from my family;

But I also got the message from society 
that these were sad, damaged people - 
NOT role models!


I felt special being shown my first gay bar,
and a few years later,
walking into my first "girl" bar.


From the period of my childhood at the salon,
when the gay life was a secret that I was "in" on,
to the waving Rainbow Flag:
that was my youth-

Not to mention
the dear friends
I lost
to the Fearful Plague called
GRID (Gay Related Imuno-Deficiency)
just as they were starting
to live,
to fight for their rights,
to imagine that someday
they might breathe free.


I lost them,
WE all lost them,
too young.


Today we all know about AIDS;
and about Gay People
 wanting to become full citizens.
It is called an "Agenda" by some.


Yesterday,
the man I supported for Governor of Hawaii
signed his first bill into Law.

It legalized Civil Unions for any adult couple,
as he campaigned and promised.





I watched the televised ceremony
at HULA's Bar & Lei Stand (HERE)
along with my friends,
living & dead.




I cried like a baby at that moment


as oppressed people around me
cheered and toasted with champagne. 


The Press was there,
looking at us.


So many ages of cruelty
were beginning to be redressed.
Souls and society were being healed.

I believe that GOD smiled upon Hawaii yesterday.



"Everyone is welcome here in Paradise,"

my governor proclaimed
 with a big smile to applause.



An opposition leader,
associated with these painful battles,
who made his whole political career
based on this "issue" for 20 long years
here in Hawaii,
said on the TV:

"It's just telling those of us opposed
 to 'go to hell'."


Funny he should say that;


As an old friend of mine said once of such people:
"They believe we are going to hell,
and that it can't happen quick enough to suit them. They'll even help us along
 when conditions permit."



To hell
No, that's YOUR style Mr. Gabbard!


Hawaii's doors are now open to ALL.
Not just to "some"
who meet your approval.





I can feel a new energy in these islands
where our motto for over 160 years has been :

Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono

"The life of this land 
is perpetuated in righteousness."


Today it is truer than ever before.

Today I am still full of tears and wonder.

And gratitude: to the Queen of the Universe, 
and to my neighbors.

To Uncle Neil "Gov" Abercrombie!

Thanks for sharing this deep Aloha 
with us today. 


 Please come visit us!


In coming posts,
 I will introduce you to friends
 who will help you plan your trip.

And I would be very pleased to perform
 your marriage
 or C.U ceremony personally.


Egypt, Libya, Wisconsin, Hawaii:
 What is Pono (righteous) is on the march.


HOORAY!




Tell me how this makes YOU feel in comments!
cloudia
 "today we are all queens"



CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARADVERTISER.COM

"Tammy Rodrigues, left, and Antoinette Pregil hug after the signing of Senate Bill 232. Twenty years ago, the couple filed a lawsuit along with two other couples for same sex marriage."
TEARS










 JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM

Suzanne King, left, Tambry Young, and daughter Shylar Young, 11,
 embrace after the signing of Senate Bill 232.
Smiles










Courtesy: JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM

Senator Hee kisses da Gov

Kisses


48 comments:

Sailor said...

The liberation!

Hilary said...

Excellent post, Cloudia. Beautifully written. I'm very glad for the changes.

Anonymous said...

A promise in the making. Feels as if the sun does rise from upon your island from now on.


Please have a good Friday you all.

Rosaria Williams said...

Let us all be Hawaiian today and all tomorrows. Lovely post, tenderly told, humanely explained, poetically reduced to words.

黄清华 Wong Ching Wah said...

I am a happy minority ...

who said...

YES CLOUDIA! only LOUDER!!!! if the holy bible was worded slightly different so as to wrongly slander non-Caucasians as not deserving of our deepest core belief in freedom, WOULD WE STILL BE IGNORANT ENOUGH TO NOT PROTECT THEIR MOST BASIC RIGHTS?

It blows my mind how strong denial is, how we can justify and honestly, honestly say who a person loves should affect their rights and privileges granted. If people want to prolong their bigotry than pass a fucking universal health care. Do something to grant equal privileges to equally law abiding citizens.

Religions can have their unions and keep their label, keep their bigoted standards, but our government should NOT use that fucked up definition to deal out unequal rights?

it will be corrected eventually, sooner rather than later because I know people are intelligent enough to be honest with themselves, and if they are honest, their heart will tell them loud and clear IT IS NOT WRONG TO BE WHO YOU ARE, LOVE IS LEGAL, and the unequal privileges dealt out as they currently are communicates otherwise.

I have faith people will wake up

We are privileged, we have a responsibility to ensure those rights on American soil. WAKE UP POLITICIANS!

Cloudia said...

CELEBRATE ALL PEOPLE!


Mahalo means Thanks!!

Anonymous said...

amen


cj

SandyCarlson said...

How does cruelty get to be OK for some folks? I don't know.

King of New York Hacks said...

Beautiful and Poetic...Brilliant post Cloudia...A New Dawn indeed, and as Stonewall still stands today, so does the resolve of ANY oppressed with the will to fight for a better tomorrow...Aloha and Mahalo my friend.

Teresa said...

Great post, Cloudia. Thanks for sharing. I learned a lot of history that I didn't know.

Brian Miller said...

clap clap clap...excellent post and there is no room for discrimination...any where...

DeniseinVA said...

A powerful post Cloudia. The world is heading in the right direction, tolerance for our fellow men/women and not stuck in the dark ages of bigotry. We've come quite a way but still have a long way to go.

Pietro Brosio said...

Excellent post with nice words and images, Cloudia!
I'm glad you feel OK!

Full-On-Forward said...

This is WHY I come here!

John

Regina said...

Beautiful photos and post!
Have a great weekend Cloudia.
Cheers.

Regina

bichonpawz said...

Excellent Post Cloudia!!! Time for Celebration!! Glad you were able to be a part of it all!! Have a superb weekend!!

Commander Zaius said...

An opposition leader,associated with these painful battles,who made his whole political careerbased on this "issue" for 20 long yearshere in Hawaii,said on the TV:
"It's just telling those of us opposed to 'go to hell'."


I'm fairly sure that twenty years from now MOST of the country will look back at people like that and scratch their heads in sad wonder.

the walking man said...

Speaking of apartheid...even South Africa has legalized Same Sex MARRIAGE. We still have a long way to go. Celebrate, yes but do not think that the fight is won until the thinking of that opposition leader is in hell where it belongs.

Fireblossom said...

I LOVE the happy pictures at the end!

Incredible to think that raids and outings in the morning newspaper were still going on within my lifespan.

Those are gone, but perhaps the religious right has replaced the police force. And families are still a mixed bag. Plenty of gay youth are still disowned, and trans youth? Forget about it.

My family of origin dropped me like a hot rock the minute I was outed to them. I haven't seen my siblings since that day. My mother told me she never wanted to see me again, then changed her mind just so she could work on me for years, trying to get me to "change my mind". She was convinced evil friends had "talked me into it." And most of all, that it reflected badly on her. My niece informed me that it's a mental disorder. Good christians all, by the way.

So, hooray for Hawaii! but there is still a very long way to go.

Charles Gramlich said...

Well said. It's sad that every generation seems to find some new group to hate.

Phivos Nicolaides said...

Very good and interesting article well written and presented. My compliments Cloudia. I particularly like the quotes you chose! Hugs

Out on the prairie said...

The supreme court of Iowa signed same sex marriage in last year. The Moral Minority raised milions to get 3 of the justuices ousted when they were up for election this year. They are fighting to repeal rights already signed, for the good of who?Our new guv said he opposed the issue so got brought in to office to further destroy our state and many lives.

Maude Lynn said...

Brilliant post, Cloudia!

Akelamalu said...

A momentus day Cloudia.

Vagabonde said...

I saw your comment on Friko and that you were from Honolulu so I came for a visit. I also read yesterday that the State of Hawaii signed same-sex civil unions into law and is giving equal rights to everyone. I just come back from there and understand how such beautiful islands have no place for hate. A great post Bravo to Hawaii and to you too.

Abby said...

Wonderfully expressed! And one more reason for us to wish to be back there. Now I'll just visualize a huge tsunami wave of equality rolling from there to the mainland to spread all over out here.
Namaste,
Abby

Cloudia said...

Thank YOU for each of these comments that truly add to this conversation.


Thank YOU for visiting!

Betty Manousos said...

I'm so glad to hear about the changes.
This is why Hawaii is awesome!
Lovely photos and story!

B xx

Friko said...

It is no longer an 'issue' in the UK. Of course the bigots are still with us but they are in the minority.
Valley's End has a large gay community, although you'd hardly know because the men and women are part of the whole community. I can't remember the last time somebody expressed surprise at this little backwater being as open-minded as it is.

Nancy said...

It's a new day. And the spirit of Aloha lives on in beautiful Hawaii.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! Hooray! More tolerance of decent humanity is needed around the world. Mahalo for your efforts to help the world be kind to itself. Party! Party!
Aloha, DrumMajor

Anonymous said...

Hurray for tolerance and accepting everyone - no matter what colour, size, gender or religion!

Lori Skoog said...

Cloudia...what a moving, heartfelt post. Hawaii IS paradise for EVERYONE. Your gov. has a lot of guts and integrity. Your words are very meaningful.

Cloudia said...

I love each of you!


Thanks SO much for kindly visiting AND leaving a comment :-)

Sepiru Chris said...

Aloha Cloudia,

What a lovely, celebratory post lauding you governor, and the good, fair sense of the people of your state, for their taking the time, energy, and effort to officially recognize the validity of everyone's relationships.

That sort of looks snarky when I read it. It is not meant to be. It is great that this is both (a) law in Hawaii and (b) the first law that your new "Gov." has passed upon assuming his office.

Further, Cloudia, how lucky for so many couples to have such a supportive and informed celebrant officiating at their union, however their union is classified.

Kudos to you, too.

I am not really back to espace, yet, but thank you very much for the email which brought me to your space, tonight.

In the Comfort Spiral it is always self-evident that you are a celebrant; I think it is in your emotional DNA--how lucky for many that your makeup makes up one of your professional personas, too!

Tschuess,
Chris

KrippledWarrior said...

Equal rights and equal justice under the law, are the corner stones of American Liberty. You have cause to celebrate.

Cloudia said...

Two of my favorite folks! Thanks for visiting!!

Unknown said...

So happy to see Hawaii go forward. Congrats on POTW!!

Anonymous said...

When people are treated as people, everyone benefits.

Cloudia said...

You make this blog what it is with your visits! Thank You Very Much

Land of shimp said...

Just a few words in, I realized exactly where you were going with this, Cloudia. How did it make me feel? I cried, and cried all the way through the post...not because I was sad, but because in our world, seeing the right thing done is often a rarity.

Thank you for doing the right thing, Hawaii :-) Thanks for making sure we know about it, Cloudia.

You always have to be so proud of how beautiful your state is. Visually, it's gorgeous. The beauty doesn't end there though.

I'm proud of Hawaii. I hope someday to be similarly proud of Colorado.

Unknown said...

mahalo for sharing this beauty with the world. Your world (of readers and friends). My world. Our world. It's a good time to be alive. Bringing love into manifestation. It is our kuleana.

Cloudia said...

Mahalo

Jim said...

Great post. Thanks for your comment on my Camp Stonewall post today.
Sydney - City and Suburbs

Cloudia said...

I enjoyed your post very much. Thanks for the return visit!

Cheryl Kohan said...

Wow, Cloudia! Wow!! This is so excellent and I'm so proud of you for putting your feelings into words. I think you have the most awesome Governor in the country! What a guy!

Oh, and congratulations on being chosen as a Post of the Week. That Hilary has hit pay dirt, once again!

Unknown said...

Very well written, thanks for pointing to this!