Aloha is Reborn!
A New Day For Hawaii
"Discrimination. . . never fit in Hawaii.
In large mesure because of the culture
of the Islands' original inhabitants,
intolerance is simply not in Hawaii's
DNA. Our diversity hasn't allowed it."
Dan Boylen,
Hawaii Political Commentator
It's hard to explain how I feel today.
It feels like "Day 1" and everything
is going to be OK.
I was a young teen celebrating a birthday
that week in 1969 when the queers & homos
at the STONEWALL, a dive bar in New York City,
refused to submit to one more round of
rousting, jailing, exposure, public humiliation
and job loss
just for being in a place,
just for being a certain kind of
person:
a non-citizen, a social problem.
It was completely acceptable back then,
like smoking in a car with small children was,
to make jokes about queers and fags and dykes.
And to fire them upon exposure.
It was something that adults joked about,
except when one of "them"
made a normal person angry.
Then it was no joke.
Boys who wouldn't or couldn't "act like a man"
were humiliated and bullied by children
and by adults
usually including their teachers and parents,
for "their own good."
Many kids were sent away for "cure."
Many "cured" themselves,
maintaining their intolerable secret
through suicide.
Some were prayed-over (humiliated)
by the entire congregation
in front of God and everybody!
Life would be dark
if you felt drawn to the wrong gender.
Someone was always there
to make sure of that.
If you are a member of some other minority,
your family is with you and you learn
to survive along with your people.
But if you were one of those fags
or tomboys
you were a despised minority
in your own house
and had to hold your breath
when the adults made jokes,
or shook their heads
about "those people."
It was stuff kids weren't supposed to know about.
So questioning youth was isolated, frightened, and alone-
even more that average youth.
If you did not know what to look for
a whole "other" secret world
existed in your own hometown:
certain bars, businesses,
streets (after dark), certain parks,
drew a certain kind of person.
It was called "vice"
and was a problem for the police.
Nice, kind people
considered homosexuals mentally ill.
Their homo-children were institutionalized, drugged,
even lobotomized
because they "needed help."
"Sissy Boy Syndrome" was a real diagnosis!
And it was ALL Mom's fault.
The army might make a man of you. . .
(because there was a military draft then too,
so everybody's children fought
& died in wars.)
Many children were beaten,
then thrown out on the street.
Too many left home prematurely
to go on their own.
No real choice.
The lucky ones found like-kind;
but even a secret, welcoming world
has it's dangers-
especially a world made up of survivors
where internalized hatred of your own nature
could make you cynical, depressed, nasty,
or hopeless.
But the lucky ones
found a hidden, welcoming world.
A world of art and taste and connoisseur-ship.
Oscar Wilde's wit, Tchaikovsky's music. . .
Of course,
one was still vulnerable to blackmail of every sort-
"Good riddance."
Human beings pay a price
to live under such constant pressure
and self-concealment.
Alcoholism was as common in that demographic
as love of Judy Garland (Barbara Streisand, Madonna, Lady G. . . ).
But it was exciting back then to be part of a
secret elite:
what movie stars are secretly
"like us?"
Gay was an "inside" code word.
"Don't dare hijack the word 'gay' and the rainbow too:
they belong to everybody - except YOU!"
The Daughters of Bilitis
(notice the neutral-sounding name)
the first national lesbian organization was founded in 1955
by Del Martin, Phyllis Lyon & Barbara Gittings.
"Given the fearful political climate (1950's),
Mattachine Society meetings often took place
in secret with members using aliases,
like the Communist Party. (more here)"
People who were considered
tantamount to perverts and traitors
bravely took the first steps
out of the closet.
It was in the days after STONEWALL
that I lived my youth.
My mother was a receptionist in a beauty salon
so I had 'aunties' and 'uncles' when I visited there
throughout my childhood.
It was vulgar to hate such lovely people -
that was the message I got
from my family;
But I also got the message from society
that these were sad, damaged people -
NOT role models!
I felt special being shown my first gay bar,
and a few years later,
walking into my first "girl" bar.
From the period of my childhood at the salon,
when the gay life was a secret that I was "in" on,
to the waving Rainbow Flag:
that was my youth-
Not to mention
the dear friends
I lost
to the Fearful Plague called
GRID (Gay Related Imuno-Deficiency)
just as they were starting
to live,
to fight for their rights,
to imagine that someday
they might breathe free.
I lost them,
WE all lost them,
too young.
Today we all know about AIDS;
and about Gay People
wanting to become full citizens.
It is called an "Agenda" by some.
Yesterday,
the man I supported for Governor of Hawaii
signed his first bill into Law.
It legalized Civil Unions for any adult couple,
as he campaigned and promised.
I watched the televised ceremony
at HULA's Bar & Lei Stand (HERE) along with my friends,
living & dead.
I cried like a baby at that moment
as oppressed people around me
cheered and toasted with champagne.
The Press was there,
looking at us.
So many ages of cruelty
were beginning to be redressed.
Souls and society were being healed.
I believe that GOD smiled upon Hawaii yesterday.
"Everyone is welcome here in Paradise,"
my governor proclaimed
with a big smile to applause.
An opposition leader,
associated with these painful battles,
who made his whole political career
based on this "issue" for 20 long years
here in Hawaii,
said on the TV:
"It's just telling those of us opposed
to 'go to hell'."
Funny he should say that;
As an old friend of mine said once of such people:
"They believe we are going to hell,
and that it can't happen quick enough to suit them. They'll even help us along
when conditions permit."
To hell?
No, that's YOUR style Mr. Gabbard!
Hawaii's doors are now open to ALL.
Not just to "some"
who meet your approval.
I can feel a new energy in these islands
where our motto for over 160 years has been :
Ua Mau Ke Ea O Ka Aina I Ka Pono
"The life of this land
is perpetuated in righteousness."
Today it is truer than ever before.
Today I am still full of tears and wonder.
And gratitude: to the Queen of the Universe,
and to my neighbors.
To Uncle Neil "Gov" Abercrombie!
Thanks for sharing this deep Aloha
with us today.
Please come visit us!
In coming posts,
I will introduce you to friends
who will help you plan your trip.
And I would be very pleased to perform
your marriage
or C.U ceremony personally.
Egypt, Libya, Wisconsin, Hawaii:
What is Pono (righteous) is on the march.
HOORAY!
Tell me how this makes YOU feel in comments!
cloudia
"today we are all queens"
CRAIG T. KOJIMA / CKOJIMA@STARADVERTISER.COM
"Tammy Rodrigues, left, and Antoinette Pregil hug after the signing of Senate Bill 232. Twenty years ago, the couple filed a lawsuit along with two other couples for same sex marriage."
TEARS
JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM
Suzanne King, left, Tambry Young, and daughter Shylar Young, 11,
embrace after the signing of Senate Bill 232.
Smiles
Courtesy: JAMM AQUINO / JAQUINO@STARADVERTISER.COM
Senator Hee kisses da Gov
Kisses
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