I am a Difficult Person

 A  L  O  H  A !

(Hmmmm, what did she mean by THAT?!)

" Some people die at 25

 and aren't buried until 75.  "

Benjamin Franklin

" There are some people 

who, 

if they don't already know, 

you can't tell 'em.  "

Yogi Berra

" Nobody realizes 

that some people

 expend tremendous energy 

merely to be normal.  "

Albert Camus

 

“ True wisdom 

comes to each of us
 when we realize

 how little we understand
 about life,

 ourselves

 & the world

 around us. ”

 

Socrates

" Nothing pains some people

 more than having to

 think.  "

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

" Even against the greatest of odds,

 there is something 

in the human spirit -
a magic blend of skill,

 faith, and valor -

 that can lift us

 from certain defeat
 to incredible victory. " 

 Walter Lord

 (1917 - 2002)
 

 

 

 

  >  <  }  }  ( ° >

Yesterday,

I read a fascinating article

in Psychology Today

about Difficult People.

We all know them.

I wanted some tips:

how NOT

to let THEM

entangle me

in their dramas,

or worse,

to infect my emotions!

The Article was a clever inventory

of several difficult types,

all recognizable,

and each illustrated

with celebrity examples.

One thing became clear:

As I began to comprehend

the rationale behind

each 'difficult behavior'

A little voice

showed me that 

I too

had behaved that way

at some time.

One feature

of difficult people

is that they blame

OTHERS

for the situations

that they themselves

create

over and over again.

Difficult people

lack self-knowledge

of HOW

they themselves

affect others.

So (follow me here)

for me to identify with

these very human traits-

to see them in myself

as well as in others-

made me feel

very mentally healthy,

Mature even!

There is so much anger

and blame around.

Powerful forces

that do not have 

YOUR best interest

as their prime motive

have fomented

enormous disunity

in Society

world-wide.

Like the plantation masters

of "old"

they know that if we fight

each other

over nonsense

then we cannot

join together

in our own

best interests,

and those of people

Like Us

all over the globe.

So here it is:

"I'm a difficult person.

Sometimes I must be wrong

because I am human.

Let's really HEAR

each other

and stop looking 

for points to score

in an endless

argument.

I'm game.

Are YOU?

Take Away Insight - Leave Your Comment

                           Warmly, cloudia

 [ Info from the article mentioned are below with link ]

 

 

 

 

 

7 Ways to Defuse a Difficult Encounter

Having learned the hard way, Vancouver physician (and PT blogger) Susan Biali offers concrete steps for dealing with unreasonable person.

1. Minimize time with problem people. Keep interactions as short as possible.
2. Keep it logical. Communications should be fact-based with minimal details. Don't try to connect and reason with difficult people. Their response will often only make you more upset.
3. Focus on them in conversation. One way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation, or having your words twisted is to say as little as possible. They are a far safer subject of conversation than you are.
4. Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish them to be. There are people in our lives who have moments when they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend/whatever we've always wanted. Yet they end up disappointing or hurting us. Accepting the person as is can be a remarkable relief.
5. Avoid topics that get you into trouble. Before any interaction with a difficult person, mentally review the topics that invite attack and make an effort to avoid them. If your in-laws always demean your choice of career, change the topic immediately if they ask how your work is going.
6. Don't try to get them to see your point of view. Don't try to explain yourself or get them to empathize with you.They won't. And you'll just feel worse for trying.
7. Create a distraction. Play with a pet if there is one handy. Plan the interaction around some kind of recreational activity or entertainment. Or get the other person to do something that absorbs their attention (taking it off you). Just don't use alcohol as your distraction of choice. It will only make you more likely to say or do something that will set you up as a target or make you feel bad later.