Abundance Subsistance

"A good conscience is a constant Christmas."- Franklin

"Sorrow locks the gates of Heaven" -Hebrew saying

"Nobody ever made a dime by panicking." - Jim Cramer

First I had a cold, or so I thought. Then it turned into the flu. . .When it reached the point where I couldn't breathe I was taken to the hospital - which immediately admitted me. Oxygen helped. The doctors tried antibiotics of various kinds and gave me an HIV test. They finally said that I had some kind of pneumonia.

Growing weaker, everything physical and mental became arduous. When you can't breathe nothing else much matters. I wondered if I'd ever play my flute again. Usually I felt like I'd never "made it" with my music. Sure I'd played in some bands, done a little recording, made some people happy. . . wait a minute! I finally realized what solace, pleasure, sharing, and insight into the deeper rhythms of life that my flutes had given me. I remembered the pleasure of escaping as a kid and playing in the trees behind my house. The birds seemed to listen, and I learned to listen to them. I remembered being the only light-skinned person in a dark backroom in the disreputable part of town, and a teenager to boot(!) yet playing music with old old men who'd lived a long hard life and who knew many deep things unsuspected in my sweet striving suburb. Music opened those doors. John Sephus (sp?) a beautifully worn blues-man said: "You play the hell out of that thing, kid" backstage at some festival years ago. My dear friend Labig, a cowboy/country/folk song-stylist, who made his living as a city desk reporter ,was there: beaming at me. One of the great moments of my life! I guess music brought me my some of my best friends. Laying in that hospital bed, I knew that if I ever had the chance to play a little tune, or to ride my 33 year old motorcycle again, I would finally understand the glory of it and appreciate it! As I hovered close to death, Jim and other friends & family who had passed felt very near. There were others there too; and a little bird came to my window ledge every day. He seemed to know his business and communicated deep things very simply in the dusk. At one point I felt myself moving up and out. I could see the room, the hillside, all of my dear Honolulu and then the countryside on the other side of the Ko`olau range. I felt compassion for myself: "Poor jerk," I had been so busy worrying that I'd never really just ENJOYED this amazing life. I saw and knew (and cared about!) all the people laughing, loving, striving, crying, winning, losing, musing, and dying all over the world. I felt deep love and care for the entire lovely writhing, suddenly very beautiful earth. As I wondered with immense compassionate concern what would happen next to everyone, a voice (that wasn't a voice exactly) whispered in my ear: "It's not your kuleana (Hawaiian: 'responsibility') anymore." Suddenly something snapped. I didn't care about any of it anymore; I was too busy suddenly beginning to remember. . . to real-lax. . . to feel the thrill of finally arriving home at the safest harbor where everything makes beautiful, complete, sense. Later I began to recover. I started to slowly rejoin the world and the illusions that we share. I had seen the complexity of our world that appears so random, responds to each person's choices & actions, and yet fits together seamlessly. Naturally and easily I finally understood some answers instead of just searching for them; and they were obvious once I had a different perspective. My views on lots of things changed. I now understand that most of what we think of as "important" is really just the 'props' and window dressing of our stories and choices. And too much of what REALLY COUNTS we consider trite & trivial. For the most part, it's not the 'whats' of our lives that matter, it's the "WHOs" and the "WHYs" that really are the whole point. Wealth and security are just concepts. True wealth and security are always right here. The wealth of playing a worn instrument for a few moments in a busy day, the wind in your hair, in fact: EVERY BREATH is truly a gift. These are not things I say, they are facts I lived! As long as we live, God, or Spirit, or Aloha, or whatever YOU call it, is with us. I KNOW that now. And I also learned that when we leave this existence: we go to be with Him/Her/Them/LOVE. There is truly nothing to fear, but it would be a real shame to miss the glory while we're in it - this beautiful Earth! I walk down the street loving everyone, because I now know that being "strangers" is just an agreement we made in order to play here.

Subsistence, having enough, is abundance. Wanting more, wanting a guarantee for tomorrow, is just an illusion, a 'plot' in your story. . . ...........A L O H A ! Cloudia

Because

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

-Will Rogers

Accustom yourself continually to make many acts of love, for they enkindle and melt the soul. -Saint Teresa of Avila

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

Every Day

Every day there are miracles
So mundane that we take them for granted
Sun-set, sun-rise
The voices of birds
Who could fully appreciate
The daily gift of a loved one’s return?

A L O H A ! cloudia

A Path. . .

"The only devils in the world are those running around in our hearts. That is where the battle should be fought." Gandhi

Morning comes to New York, to the lava fields of the Big Island Hawaii, and to the healing sands of Waikiki. . .

Sometimes I awaken anxious. But there is always a calm to be claimed if we will. Why do we feel guilty turning off worry? Afraid we'll miss something? Lose our edge? Gently, not by force of will, simply de-couple, de-escalate from the entrainment of worry. Allow your body-wisdom to take over. Pause, clarify, breathe. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Feel?

There is a clearing in the woods, and the "path" to it is more than a poetic image. It is a real way to get somewhere. Believing something is not the same as walking your path step by step. Stop knowing for a while. Watch the comical parade of worries pass you by.

Pilgrim Congregational Church in Massachusetts encourages folks to bring their dogs to "woof & worship" services. "Dogs bring such hope in a world where we're surrounded by such hopelessness," says Reverend Bickford.

Look into the eyes of a pet, a child, or that own inner child looking back from the mirror. Morning comes to our shores again. It's gonna be a nice day; a gift. If we can only receive it that way. . .

A L O H A ! Cloudia

Crisis Opportunity. . .

"I reckon a man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be." - Abraham Lincoln

"When you are not living up to your potential, it's easy to project your positive traits onto people who are living up to theirs. When you start to fulfill your own dreams and goals you'll become less interested in what other people are doing. We each need to become our own hero."- Debbie Ford

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."

- Dorothy Thompson

We don't take joy seriously or make a functional commitment to be happy. We may vaguely wish to be happy as if it were purely a matter of chance - yet chance is ultimately the smallest part of joy. Commitment and intention rule - and thinking makes it so. This is not "positive thinking." We can't "gut" our way to joy; we must lure it by creating the right conditions. Like kids freely playing in nature. It's good to feel that freedom, to accept our own private song. Even better, this new spirit greets the world and greets others in a wonderful new way - bringing wonderful new results..."

A L O H A ! Cloudia

Judgemental People. . .

"When a friend speaks to me, whatever they say is interesting." - Jean Renoir

"I'm not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

"A sage may hide in many disguises. The person giving us the hardest time may actually be saving our lives. We can never tell from one moment to the next if an event is for our well-being, so it is wise to give everything and everyone the benefit of the doubt."

- David A Cooper

Bertrand Russell wrote, “The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists — that is why they invented hell.”



Judgmental people are fragile people. They so fear what might occur that they preoccupy themselves with rules. The ones they judge most harshly are themselves, but that is cold comfort for their many targets. As a rule, comfort with diversity grows along with spiritual self-confidence.
Ironically it is the tolerant who are truly living up to good values and a high standard. They are confident that Right will prevail, and so are usually patient with others, inviting them to join in the joy of goodness at their own pace and in their own way. The tolerant can find good almost everywhere they look, and are more concerned with fixing problems and healing hurts than in finding someone to blame.
Meanwhile the judgmental scrutinize everyone they meet with a suspicious eye. They live in a frighteningly lawless world that may misbehave at any moment. You see, their god is terribly weak. They believe that He needs their help to root out all the world’s sin or He might miss something. Emotional passion so rules them that they believe that hatred, even violence, are superior to prayer and compassion as tools to change the world for the better.

A L O H A ! Cloudia

Motivation is Key. . .

"Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together will go to the making of a genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." - Mozart

"My religion is kindness." The Dalai Lama (Get well!)

Motivation is key. If you give to get - your motivation is selfish. If you give out of fear - that motivation too will taint even your giving. Once you really enjoy loving and doing for others you will receive treasure and security that the selfish cannot fathom. Once we begin to emerge from our "lower" type of interactions with others and begin to understand the true value of warmth, respect, and compassion for them and for OURSELVES, we may be surprised by the impatience, anger, and simple everyday rudeness of people. Haven't they heard? Isn't the utility and joy of love obvious to them? No. Not yet. Try to remember (without going there) how YOU used to feel about and treat others. While most people will respond automatically to sincere ALOHA energy (even without words) those that choose else-wise deserve to be respected and 'let be.' We are not the corrector of others. We can only love them. The treasure concealed in these very situations is that they provide us with a gracious opportunity to transmute unpleasantness into a deeper acceptance - even the unpleasantness that we have spread ourselves in the past.

A L O H A ! Cloudia

The Shift. . .

" Who cares what banks fail in Yonkers as long as you have the kiss that conquers."-
George & Ira Gershwin, 1932

President Franklin Delano Roosevelt's words at his inauguration on March 4, 1933, still ring true:
"This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

"The problem with most people is that they lose control of their emotions....The victim represses, the warrior refrains."- Don Miguel Ruiz

We are truly surrounded by wonder and beauty; we live completely within it. But we are focused on other things. It's like that drawing of a vase, or is it two faces? A shift in perspective yields a completely different picture. It is possible to learn to dwell in a wondrous world, by shifting our attention. It begins with noticing: noticing the unexamined circus of automatic thoughts in our minds. How many unexamined beliefs and directives are running your life? We are exiled in practicality, but life is more than eating. Practicality should be our efficient servant not our master imperative. Vigilance and worry were never designed to be more than temporary strategies - they are not a healthy lifestyle. Pause. Go inside to your heart. Think of something that you love. Breathe. Breathe deeper. The still small voice within is patient. It never interrupts. Perhaps it is worth listening to. Anyone, any situation is made bearable once you simply accept it as it is.
A L O H A ! Cloudia