Girlfriends and BFFs: Happy Tears & Betrayal

Click on photos to enlarge!

"I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women."
Louis XIV

"Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women."

Elsa Schiaparelli

"Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."

Lenny Bruce

"What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman." Lord Byron

"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." Elayne Boosler

Recently a blogger I enjoy following a lot, Bubble Wench of Blogs of Life, was honest enough in a post to basically say: "I'm empty, I'm pissed off, and it's all because of some betraying girl who I thought was my friend. I wanna be left alone!"

We all wrote in to curse the offender and to support our friend. That's what women and exceptional men DO! But it got me thinking.

Ample research shows that for women, our mood, attitudes, happiness, financial habits, and even WEIGHT are strongly effected by the quality of our relationships; especially our relationships with other women, and MOST particularly, with our "Best Friend" or the lack thereof. We get lonely without a BFF to be unconditionally understanding. Especially when we no longer understand ourselves.

My lunch companion today contributed the fact that she too has come to enjoy solitude more than the hassles that go along with some close female friendships - though she is no hermit by any means; But I knew what she meant. Bubble Wench knows what she meant. And I'd wager that most every woman has struggled with this dichotomy in her life.

And female bosses? Blogger Akemalu tackled this one a few days ago, and that's WHOLE other post - or a doctoral thesis!


My independent solitude is a treasure that deeply satisfies while nourishing my soul & my work (words). It makes me ready to enjoy an interesting new girlfriend (or any person) on her own terms, and to let it blossom or die a dignified and quiet death. . .


So what is your take on all this? Women? Men? Intersex folks?

A L O H A! Cloudia

Climbing Pu`u O Kaimuki

Click on photos to enlarge! Path up Pu`u O Kaimuki.
"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature." Anne Frank



Once up da hill, you can see Maunalua Bay with

it's 2 (Lua) Mountains (Mauna): Koko Head (pointy one)

and the "other one."





























You can look right into the lip of Diamond Head.



"Learning how to operate a soul figures to take time." Timothy Leary



"They deem me mad for I will not sell my days for gold; I deem them mad for they think my days have a price."
Kahlil Gibran







This is the vintage (but still used) tower of a Fire House. The Spanish style tower is for drying hoses! See the houses going up Whilemena Rise?

Punchbowl Crater, site of the National Memorial Cemetary of the Pacific - Military heros including President Obama's Grandfather, Stanley Dunham, lie here- at the right of photo. Urban Honolulu and Waikiki Highrise hotels to the left.

Closer look at Punchbowl, right side of photo.

Back around to Waikiki & ocean horizon

Look at the tiny cars! House lots running up Willhemina Rise originally sold for eight cents a square foot, nine cents for corner lots.

Sometimes the extraordinary is hiding in plain sight.

For over twenty years I have driven right past the Kaimuki Fire House without thinking much about the hill that looms over it. I'd been close to a treasure without even knowing it! This Pu`u (poo - oo) or "hill," the high point of the neighborhood, is today crowned by the tiny Pu`u O Kaimuki Park.

Site of Hawaiian cultural practices in "pre-history," one-time home to a water tank, and to an early astronomical observatory, the Pu`u watched the arrival of the original Hawaiians, saw the first European sailing ships, and oversaw the growth of our Honolulu Town.

I have always loved Honolulu's classic little Kaimuki neighborhood with it's main commercial street ("High Street") of Waialae Avenue. Strolling the avenue, one finds a few remaining "mom and pop" businesses and restaurants, beside culinary gems offering everything from classic diner food (Big City Diner) to Asian, Mexican, French & Mediterranean fare.

Kaimuki was actually the first large subdivision outside of Honolulu (though now a part of the City & County). In 1898 two businessmen bought 520 acres of land here for 20,000 dollars, envisioning a lucrative, high class residential area where only rocky hills and hardscrabble dairy farms existed. Fee simple house lots were offered for 400 to 600 dollars each; but without paved roads it was a hard sell. Potential buyers were even offered a 50 dollar "Bounty" for every baby born in Kaimuki!

Eventually, the parched red dirt did yield to civilization beginning around this very Pu`u (Hill) O Kaimuki, behind the fire station. Today, Beth and I climbed the short, paved lane up the Pu`u and took the pictures above! Hope you like them . . . . A L O H A! Cloudia

Mamogram Ma'am

Click on photos to enlarge!
A winter sky morning in Waikiki


"Keep your fears to yourself, but share your inspiration with others." Robert Louis Stevenson

"Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival." Hannah Arendt

Why endure conditions like the photo above
when you can be in this lovely institution?
(below)





" You must do the things you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt

But there's a lovely Zen Garden outside the

Window. (below)

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." Eleanor Roosevelt

But the view from the parking structure was

GREAT! (bottom)

I'm no wimp.

I've ridden my motorcycle at 100 mph with only a flimsy ball cap pulled down over my brow, and helped to found a women's M.C. Club that flew our own back "Patch" and had the respect of the local outlaw clubs. . .

I have endured painful hospitalizations, and I have played impromptu Jazz on stage before hundreds of people. . .

At 16 I hitch-hiked away from home with a bed roll to see the world, and I have sailed out of sight of land, into international waters and to other nations. . .

I have done street outreach work in drug districts and prostitution zones all by myself in the middle of the night. . .

I drove a taxi overnight. . .

But I was afraid to have a mammogram and I made up my mind about that years ago. . .

Then my doctor found something or other in a breast exam and I agreed to have an ultrasound taken. You know what happened next: they recommended a diagnostic mammogram. . .

A small part of me was happy under the fear.

"What am I happy about?" I asked my little secret self.

"Oh this is great!" I replied to myself.

"Great?"

"Yeah! Either you'll be clear, or maybe you'll find something early."

Hmmm; that sounded pretty smart. But what about the decision I'd made?

"Change your mind." And so I did. . .

The waiting was the hardest part. I even had nightmares about it. But I kept it all to myself except for my dear friend Beth. Why worry my husband? (Though I'd kill him if he did the same thing ;-) . . .

Today was the day.

It wasn't that bad. And now I know that I'm clear. Plus I've learned just how much I want to stick around this fizzing world of ours! I want to live to see what will happen next!

The other worries in my life have been cut down to size. I'm alive; and I'm keeping my breast. YAY!!!!!! I called my favourite husband to tell him the good news. . .

Dedicated to RiverPoet, Daryl, Akelamalu, and all the fearless and amazing women and men I've met here in the blogosphere.

A L O H A! Cloudia

Chant Honoring the Chief

Click on photos to enlarge!

"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'"

Dr. Martin Luther King

"If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking." Gen. George Patton

"Scrabble is both mindless and cerebral, which may account for it's appeal to writers - it gives you the chance to push words around without having to make them mean something." Judith Thurman, The New Yorker
























The Hawaiians of old honored their Ali`i (Ah-lee-ee) or chiefs, with "Name Chants." These "Mele Inoa" were performed with music. Each mele also has an "Oli" version that was chanted with dignity. These are among the classics of Hula and of Hawaiian history, vestiges of an oral culture that are considered priceless cultural treasures.



Halau Ho`omau I ka Wai Ola ("In Hula & Halau, we remain young at heart and full of life.") is a Hula Halau of around 80 members who live in the Washington D.C. area. Most of the dancers are Hawaii people who work and live on the continent, but who feel an unbreakable connection to their home and to our island culture.

It was a point of pride to these frozen flowers that a man born and raised in our Hawaii has been elected High Chief of the United States. And so a Mele Inoa was created in his honor. The troupe performed the Chant and Hula in connection with the inaugural events last month.

HIKI MAILA KE ALI`I HO`OULU

He mele inoa no Obama

"The Leader of Inspiration Comes

Name chant in honor of Barack Obama"

Look to our leader, a strong person is he

A child from the land of righteousness

A child of Hawaii destined to lead

Who will make goodness flourish with aloha

Signs in the heavens tell of the coming of a new chief

Working for righteousness with love

Belief in change is instilled in the heart

For the life of the land is perpetuated in righteousness

Let the story be known in the telling

The leader to renew inspiration has come

The living essence

of the land flourishes

We offer loving regard indeed

A name song for Barack Obama

("He inoa no Barack Obama")

Written by Kumu Hula Manu Ikaika ("Ua haka ia e Manu Ikaika")

(c) Manu Ikaika, December 7 2007 www.halau.org

Language advisor: Puakea Nogelmeier

Selfish

Click on photos to enlarge!
Below: Missing? YOU!

"We need enthusiasm, imagination, and the ability to face facts, even unpleasant ones." Franklin Roosevelt

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self confidence." Robert Frost

"When a dancer comes onstage, he is not just a blank slate that the choreographer has written on. Behind him he has all the decisions he has made in life. . . You are looking at the person he is, the person he cannot help but be. . . Exceptional dancers, in my experience, are also exceptional people, people with an attitude toward life, a kind of quest, and an internal quality. They know who they are, and they show this to you, willingly." Mikhail Baryshnikov

"The relationship that solves your problems is the relationship you have with yourself." Diane Von Furstenberg

"There's so much talk of self-improvement, living your best life, being faster, smaller, busier, more satisfied, and better rested, that the idea of celebrating what you are right now, suddenly seemed rather daring and radical. Dissembling, prevaricating, compensating and exaggerating are such a large part of modern life. Most people find the reverse - a sort of astringent openness and sincerity - either embarrassing, risky to the point of insanity, or plain unbearable. The whole experience was rather reviving."

Susie Boyt "In Praise of the Selfish Life" (Financial Times)

A L O H A! Cloudia

Recipe for a Novel

click on photos to enlarge!

"The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:

Little we see in Nature that is ours. . . " Wordsworth

"A solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities." Maya Angelou












"It takes a great deal of history to produce a little literature." Henry James

Recipe for a Novel

1) First get the germ of an idea.

No one really knows where these come from, so read a lot, wonder a lot, be interested in lots of seemingly unconnected or unimportant things and ideas. Travel outside the lines.

2) Explore, ruminate and forget about your germ of an idea.

3) Repeat #2.

4) Stumble on related information, then begin research out of fascination.

5) Synchronicity, serendipity, and fortunate coincidences concerning your idea/inspiration begin to find you regularly. This idea won't go away!

6) Get a notebook. Keep it near. Write down EVERYTHING that has any "spark" to it. don't worry, you can throw most of it out later, but it is important that you write it down.

7) Scenes and characters emerge and get written in the notebook as if you are under a spell.

8) Some sense of Beginning, Middle & End begins to emerge.

9) Forget about this project for a while. Let it marinate generously in time. Eventually it will compel you to continue - or not. If the latter, you have been cured!

10) Anxiety over the enormity of the task is followed by hopelessness and surrender.

11) Once you've given up, re infatuation will occur. A smaller part of yourself has dropped by the way side; now your subconscious, higher self, and accruing skills can continue the project unencumbered.

12) Once "finished" you will be disappointed upon reading your manuscript through. Is that all there is?!

13) You suddenly realize that what you have is a first draft! This is high-grade raw material.

14) You begin to polish, toss out, move around, aggregate you material.

15) Pause, polish, share it, listen.

16) Revise yet again, but know when to stop touching it.

17) Once you have something that is surprisingly good, that folks you respect seem to genuinely like, the REAL work begins! It's called publishing and promotion. Good Luck!

A L O H A! Cloudia

Dissolving Fear

Click on photos to enlarge!

"Newspapers wrap fish, books are in the library forever." Roger Straus, Publisher

"One with no nickname will never grow rich."

Chinese Proverb

"Man has studied the skies for millenia. The scientific study of the Earth is approximately just 100 years old." PBS

Gratitude

Dissolves fear.

A smile

Thins the veil

Between Heaven and Earth,

Between souls.

Cloudia

A L O H A!