Robert Fulghum,
In Honor of the New Year:
Fondly, A L O H A ! Cloudia
Waikiki
This is what came to mind...when I heard Jujube. . . until. . .Farewell, sweet man!
It's a huge privilege to be asked to conduct a wedding ceremony.
This is a day that they will remember all their lives;
But no pressure.
Everyone's nervous to get it PERFECT!
And if there's a professional photog it's a "shoot" first.
I have seen photogs run sweating couples up and down the hot beach "one more time" too many times.
But gotta get that perfect picture! (eh bloggers?)
The day belongs to the couple.
I try to be a calming, reassuring, down-to-earth influence, but completing the State's official paperwork always makes me sweat.
I have learned to ask some pertinent questions, because people ASSUME that a ceremony will contain elements that they are used to.
Are there rings? Do you have vows, or something else you want to say or recite?
If they are a same-gender couple, I tell them that as the day's representative of Church, I apologize to them for any misguided rudeness, or abuse they have suffered at the hands of "the church." That is not the Spirit that I know.
As a resident of this State, I apologize that their marriage will not be a legal entity - no matter how true, alive, or lovely it may be. But I assure them that this ceremony of their will & surrender WILL render them truly truly soul partners. Powers & Principalities honor them this day, even if the legislature hasn't caught up yet.
I welcome the humans, the Aina (land) Lani (Heavens) Kai (Sea) and all the spirit of Aloha that animates these isles.
After that, each ceremony is different.
Sometimes folks contact me later to tell me that they were happy with the ceremony - or even that they felt "something" that moved them. I am grateful that the "magic" happened. It comes through me - not from me.
Last night my favorite husband remarked how strange it is that two willing people who have obtained a marriage license are LEGALLY married simply because I declare it so.
"It takes time and lawyers and thousands of dollars to get a divorce." He said. I had to agree; it is mysterious, wonderful, and an awesome responsibility!
Mostly, what I bring is humility. I have learned to get out of my own way and "Mach Show" as the Germans say, to become the role I am playing.
A wedding ceremony is one of those times in life when we feel the winds of eternity ruffling our hair, raising goose bumps (or "chicken skin" as we say in Hawaii).
Yesterday, I shared a wonderful truth that I have learned with the bride:
"When he looks at your face in 20 or 30 years, what he will see is your beauty on this day."
I also share with couples a foundational truth of my own marriage: that it rests on a disagreement.
My husband thinks that it's All About Me.
I know that it's All About Him.
We agree to disagree on this.
And count ourselves blessed.
That's what I wish for yesterday's newlyweds.
(and for you!)
May we all enjoy the produce of our own gardens.
That's where the real nourishment comes from. . .
A L O H A! Cloudia
Remember losing yourself for hours in nature?
"Laughter is the GPS system of the soul. Humor offers a revolutionary yet simple spiritual paradigm. If you can laugh at yourself, you can forgive yourself. And if you can forgive yourself you can forgive others. Laughter heals and grounds us in a place of hope. It fosters intimacy and honesty in our relationship with each other and with God. And isn't that what grace is all about?"
Rev. Susan Sparks
"The human soul was created through divine laughter."
Egyptian creation Myth
"The Buddha's laugh fills the entire universe."
"Joy is one of the seven factors of enlightenment."
Buddhist teachings
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Life is serious business.
Much too serious to waste in grave seriousness.
"Life, Liberty, & the pursuit of Happiness"
is the founding principle of the United States.
A new idea in it's Enlightenment day.
We pay lip service to happiness all the time-
for ourselves and for others.
But we expect it to take care of itself,
as if it is an inexhaustible resource
that is always burbling over.
Is YOUR joy always burbling over?
Perhaps you will agree with me that we need to pay some much needed attention to the cultivation of joy.
The Hawaiians of old understood that energy & experience follow attention; What we focus on, grows.
What crops are you growing?
A possible first step in crop rotation
is to pay attention to the joy quotient in your life.
Anything we forget to notice, or appreciate, tends to leave us alone. Have you been a good host of joy, or do you think of it with suspicion, sending it back to the end
of your line of priorities?
Just for today, notice the gentle promptings of joy.
Allow them to blossom, even into belly laughs and profligate smiles. Yes, dare to be different.
Notice any "guilt" you may feel for thus "wasting" your time.
The first thing that newbie bird watchers notice, is all of the preciously unnoticed bird life all around them.
May it be the same with you and joy - your neglected friend.
We have made of the Divine a stern judge
(if mostly to judge others).
Dare we believe that Joy is the gift
that the universe wants us to enjoy?
It is certainly my wish for you -
because you are my guest here
and my friend, my Pili Aloha.
Do you need some pressure? Here it is:
Go take joy seriously!
Let me know how it goes.
bonus points:
King David in Psalms advises us,
"Serve G-d with joy, come before Him with jubilation."
The power of joy is unlimited, for, as stated in the Talmud, "Joy breaks all boundaries."
Waikiki looks beautiful from out on the water.
Here is the Royal Hawaiian Hotel.
We've seen plenty o` dem together, haven't we?Summer passes and one remembers one's exuberance
Autumn passes and one remembers one's reverence
Winter passes and one remembers one's perseverance."
Yoko Ono, Season of Glass