Monday, June 9, 2014

Toxic Narcissists

A   L   O   H   A !
"Half the harm 
that is done in this world
 is due to people 
who want to feel 
important.  -







They don’t mean to do harm,
 but the harm (that they cause)
 does not interest them.  
Or they do not see it, 
or they justify it -






- because they are absorbed 
in the endless struggle 
to think well of themselves. "
                                   T.S. Eliot

[]

One of life's 
biggest challenges
is dealing with
Toxic Narcissists.

We are at a disadvantage
from the moment
they enter our lives.

How do you deal fairly
with those who act
like your judge:
criticizing,
expecting,
 demanding?

Everything we do
is viewed by them
through the lens
of their self interest,
ego needs,
and suspicion.

"My way- or the highway"
Types
smother freedom
or declare war;

There's no middle ground
with them.
You are either
their emotional servant,
or an enemy.

This toxicity must be
avoided or contained
or it can poison
your well-being.

Moral, health,
 and emotional hazards
abound
when they are our
family members,
neighbors,
co-workers,
or otherwise 
unavoidable.

Remember:
Balance & discussion
are pointless: 

"Trying to 
reform narcissists 
by reasoning with them 
or by appealing to their 
better nature is
 about as effective 
as spitting in the ocean.”
                                         Anon.

They will remember
and repeat
their negative interpretation
of your every act,
no matter how long ago,
even as they are blind
to their own behavior
and it's real world
consequences.

Which complicates the fact
that the only way to
interact with them
is behavioral.
[If you cannot
 avoid them altogether]

Do not be baited.
Remain centered.
Do what you need to do.
Say little.

Do not "ignore them"
ostentatiously.

Speak courteously always.

This will frustrate their
tactic of lying about you
to others:
Don't give them material.

[ They can appear
quite lovely to those
they are not fixated on.
Usually it is their own
children or family members
who bear the brunt. ]


Don't believe them
when they try
to draw you in,
or they will
"Gas Light" you.

Just listen politely.

They well know how
to manipulate
whenever
 it suits them.
They may even dangle
the loving relationship
 you seek.

Don't kick that football
Charlie Brown!
Link

Just do your duty.
Give them love.
Stay safe.
Remember:
This is all about
their fragile, 
wounded ego.

Good Luck!

Have you experienced this?
Share in comments please -



Mural Monday Honolulu


 The compass rose is nothing

 but a star 

with an infinite number

 of rays pointing 

in all directions. -







-  It is the one true and perfect 
symbol of the 
universe.
And it is the one most accurate 
symbol of you. ” 
                                    Vera Nazarian 


See Other Murals


Thank YOU
for Visiting!
                    Warmly, Cloudia

Sunday, June 8, 2014

I Heart Macros

A   L   O   H   A !
“We are all 
visitors to this time, 
this place. 
We are just passing through.
 Our purpose here 
is to observe, 
to learn, to grow,
 to love... 
and then we return home.”
                      Australian Aboriginal Proverb









See Other Macro Mavens
Here


Thank YOU
for Visiting!
                         Warmly, Cloudia
' Take Peace & Smiles - Leave Your Comment '

Ground Gems

A   L   O   H   A !
"Give me your wings, teach me to fly.
Crossing horizons, 
winning hills and seas
With the light of knowledge,
 by the virtue of love. "
                      Willi de Barros / Cocoa







When the Trees No Longer Need
Leaves, Cones, Branches
Which They Have Made
From Earth, Water, Sol & Air,
They Donate Them
To The Ground
For Our Enjoyment









Dialogue: The Living and The Dead

" Knowledge 
does not kill 
the sense of wonder
 and mystery.  
There is always 
more mystery." 
                            Anais Nin





















Crown Ornaments of the Coconut Palm


" The more unintelligent
a person is, 
the less mysterious 
existence seems. "
                    Arthur Schopenhauer

























" The richness I achieve 
comes from Nature, 
the source of my inspiration. "
                             Claude Monet 










Look Down - Discover Treasure

















[///]
Thank YOU
for Visiting!
                  Warmly, Cloudia
' Take Peace & Smiles - Leave Your Comment '




Saturday, June 7, 2014

Paddling Boys of Waikiki

A   L   O   H   A !
I can walk to Ala Wai Park,
 Outrigger Canoes live here

" A city always contains
 more than any inhabitant 
can know, 
and a great city 
always makes the
 unknown and the possible 
spurs to the imagination.” 
                        Rebecca Solnit, 
                                            Wanderlust: A History of Walking











Click to enlarge photos
" 'Au i ke kai me he manu ala "

 "Cross the sea like a bird." 














" Pupukahi i holomua "

 Move forward as one











Hove To, Boys

"A'ohe hana nui ka alu'ia"

 No task is too big 
if we do it together














Classic Paddler in back: 
stiff arm raised to push
 mouth open, shouting the cadence














“I almost wish 
we were butterflies 
and liv'd but
 three summer days - 
three such days 
with you 
I could fill with 
more delight than 
fifty common years 
could ever contain.” 
                 John Keats








" Lawe i ka ma'alea 
a ku'ono'ono."

Acquire your skills deeply

Today's traditional Hawaiian sayings
were collected by the estimable
Mary Kawena Pukui
‘Olelo No‘eau: 
Hawaiian Proverbs and Poetical Sayings
(Bishop Museum Press 1983)












“Summer will end soon enough, 
and childhood as well.” 
                            George R.R. Martin,
                                     A Game of Thrones









“Green was the silence,
 wet was the light,
the month of June trembled
 like a butterfly.” 
                              Pablo Neruda, 
                                               100 Love Sonnets







King Kalaniopuu Greeting Cook 1781
By John Webber (1751-1793).
 Cook, J. A voyage to the Pacific Ocean 
(London, Strahan, 1784).
 Public domain
 via Wikimedia Commons

[///]

Thank YOU
for Visiting!
               Warmly, Cloudia
' Take Peace & Smiles - Leave Your Comment '

Friday, June 6, 2014

We Are Here Because of D-Day June 6 1944

Thank You
 Brave People Who Were There
History's Greatest Invasion
70 Years Ago
Today.
" I lived 
a thousand years 
that day "
               Wounded D-Day Veteran

[X]

I got to be born,
to grow up,
because of D-Day.
How many of us did!

Dad was in the
 US Army Air Corps.

All of our fathers
and uncles were
veterans.

As were
the cop on the beat,
the school principal,
the mail-carrier
and the guy
 pumping gas
[they also washed your windshield
and checked your tires!]

All the grown men
had been in 
The War.

The British, Dutch,
French, Chinese,
Filipinos, Australians,
NZ, and others
were our allies
and friends.

Germany was chastened,
Japan likewise,
but we were rebuilding 
them, infrastructure
and people,
as constitutional 
Democracies in our
image
and as friends.

My parents' friends
up the block,
I played with their kids,
displayed the 
living room photo
of Mrs. Schwartz's
handsome brother
in his US Navy pilot's uniform.
Action in the Pacific.

His body was never found.

Mothers, Fathers
 grandparents, siblings
sweethearts
grieved
and always would.

But 
they never talked about it.
The bereaved, 
or the veteran fathers.

"Real men" didn't.
Everyone was John Wayne.

But every family
processed the 
world's great pains.

We were the children
of a saved world,
children of Democracy.

It was a bright new day.

I grew up in a new house
purchased on great terms
with a VA loan.
(Veteran's Admin)

We would never understand
how the world suffered,
how our fathers
and mothers
suffered.

"Clean your plate
[ingrate] children
in Europe are starving."

And on some level
we felt their 
unintended resentment.

They saved the world.
How could we live up
to THAT!?

Fathers were tough then.
We didn't know why.

Perhaps they toughened us
in case of another
unthinkable challenge.

We needed to study
math to beat the Russians,
not carry a gun up the beach.

I am horrible with numbers.

The adults also whispered
about relatives
"coming over"
all very hush hush.

We kids didn't need to know
that they had been in
concentration camps.

I saw the numbers
tattooed on the wrists
of old people
who spoke with accents
but looked like us.

Laying in bed
I asked myself
if I could survive
hundreds of miles
crammed into a closed
boxcar with hundreds
of others, but no
toilet.


Today-
Outside my window
here in Honolulu
I see one of the globe's
great WWII military cemeteries,
Punchbowl

National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific



President Obama's grandfather
Stanley Dunham
is buried there.
The President grew up
in Stanley's home a mile from
here for many years.

The Obamas
and their girls
have visited Stanley's
grave more than once

" My landing craft
was full of boys.
Approaching the shore
I could hear
 rapid machine gun fire
hitting the front of the boat.
I knew when I lowered that ramp
those bullets would be
hitting flesh
instead of metal.
We hit the beach,
I got the order.
I lowered that gate."

US Navy Veteran
[in his 90's today]
at Omaha Beach



"Live your freedom.
That's what we did it for."
D-Day Veteran

70 Years Ago
Today