Blessings of a Hellish Childhood

A  L  O  H  A !

" Keep 

your fears

 to yourself, 

but share 

your inspiration

 with others. "

Robert Louis Stevenson

Suspended Pearl

" It's wonderful to climb

 the liquid mountains 

of the sky. 

Behind me 

and before me 

is God 

and I have

 no fears. "

Helen Keller 

Black Pearl

" Who would search

 for pearls 

must dive below. "

John Dryden

" Pearls 

mean tears. "

Doris Lessing 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Scientists continue to demonstrate

 that stress and abuse leave their traces

upon us,

our nervous system,

even Soul,

 in measurable and

 troubling ways,

troubling especially

 to survivors of early stress 

like myself.

We live(d) with a legacy: 

anxiety & depression 

seemingly hard-wired 

into our nervous system.

There are compensations.

Pressure the carbon of a child

long enough

and one may produce

unknowingly

a fiercely concentrated 

Attention,

tested self-reliance,

and a sort of 

dark resilience

of gallows swagger, 

a sense of

humor that grows out of

one unsurprising slight

after another.

Any catharsis is good, really.

Me, age 5: 

I lay in the dark

and wrestled with

humankind's oldest,

deepest fears,

questions.

When you wrestle

with the finality,

the inevitability of 

DEATH

as a five year old

alone in the dark,

you build capacity

for great Philosophy,

Art, or Crime.

Early, such a one 

has intimately

known 

this life's grime.

Those lucky protected,

with childhood memories

of gold,

live unexamined

enchantment - 

at least until 

becoming old.

The Solitude

 We Each Must Face,

to the adult unprepared

is a bit,

sometimes WAY

too much!

But 

unhappy children

have long

made friends

of death;

Mature years,

 to us,

are good years,

full of surprise!

Windfallen fruit!

No shadow now

upon us

of bully, 

or galoot.

Enjoying my sweets

at the end of the meal;

Deeply Grateful,

Surprised,

at such full beauty,

pleasure,
Light,

and love - 

Today

that is All

That I

Feel.

"Just desserts!"

the Pixies

squeal!

:-)

So Pleased that

Y O U

come here to play

with us!

Scrawl YOUr comment,

joke, or graffito,

on the comment wall,

y'all.

                                   "Spoiled" Cloudia